Oddly enough, I haven't heard Wham's Last Christmas this year yet. Usually I first hear it around the end of November and then all through December, 3-times per day minimum. By now, I know the frigging lyrics by heart - backwards! But this year the universe obviously decided to change the record (literally) because I've yet to hear about George Michael's broken heart. Or George's given-away heart, to be precise. So this holiday season another jingle got my attention ant it's not Jingle Bells.
Ever heard Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas Is you? I have. Plenty of times. I just never paid much attention to the lyrics, which is weird, because usually I do. In the song Miss Carey, or should I say Mrs Nick Cannon, sings her heart out: "I don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need, I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree ... All I want for Christmas is you." Out of all of the singing divas in the world, she's the one to sing that? She even co-wrote the track herself! It's got nothing to do with song itself or her vocal abilities, which are indisputable, I just find it extremely amusing because it's so unbelievable.
Let me just enumerate some fun facts about the bootylicious glamamama, who so earnestly declines all gifts: For Christmas in 2011, her husband gave her a brand new Rolls Royce Phantom - it's a good thing that last Christmas she gave him her heart, because the very next day he didn't have it away and cars like that go for about 400,000 dollars a pop. Speaking of pops, for their second anniversary Nick gave her a lollipop ring mad of white gold encrusted in white diamonds and pink sapphires estimated at 50,000 dollars. AND it came in a box with a spinning platform so she could see it sparkle under the lights inside. The lights inside the box that is. Not inside the restaurant or wherever they celebrated their anniversary at. The damn packaging had to be pimped out too! Her video for Heartbreaker is one of the top 10 most expensive videos ever made and I'm sure she didn't see the costs and say: "Oh, Guys, that's a bit much, don't you think? Le's make some cuts and save a few dimes." Furthermore, she recently had a 8-hour massage while she slept and the entire time Bruno Mars' album had to be on replay. If the masseuse was allowed to take a lunch break or not is unknown. Whether this is true or not, it really doesn't matter. The fact is that someone decided to make such a story up about Mariah Carey and not anyone else. Why? Because it's believable. You wouldn't believe it if you read that about Jennifer Aniston or Taylor Swift, would you? So Mariah singing that she doesn't want anything for Christmas is just hilarious. Poor Nick, I bet you're sorry you didn't remember the song and save a wad of money on gifts throughout the years. She only wants you, silly!
To conclude, let me just cite a few more words from the jolly jingle: "Santa Claus won't make me happy with a toy on Christmas day." Well, Mariah, have your Santa call my Santa and I'll refer him to a very lovely toy, which will bring you so much joy. Honestly, orgasmic happiness. A Christmas gift idea maybe?
Tie necklace: Kleo
Heels: Deichmann (you can have a better look at them here)
Cardigan: H&M (men)