Dec 19, 2012

Search-As-You-Type




      You know when you want to sign into you Gmail, Yahoo or any other account and all you have to do is type the first letter of your username and your computer so kindly offers you the entire thing? Comes in handy, doesn’t it? Well, my computer didn’t do that until recently. We had to format our PC and with that, all of our Internet settings went down the drain. One day, it really started to piss me off so I decided to try and fix the problem. I thought who better to ask than Google, of course.

      For a few seconds, I stared at the glaring whiteness of the screen, completely stuck because I had no clue how to word the question, the issue itself or anything concerning my problem. But then a thought crossed my mind: “I’ll just start typing, Google will know what I want and offer me some suggestions.” So I started: “How to...”
       And Google said: “How to tie a tie?”
       “No, that’s not it ...”
       “How to train a dragon?”
       “Huh?”
       “How to draw maybe?”
       “Wait, what?”
      Suggestions got weirder and weirder and I had to ask myself: “Who writes these things??” I had a vague idea how these entries come to be, but I checked to be sure and as it turned out, I presumed correctly. These real-time suggestions are based on most commonly searched phrases. At Google, they call this application search-as-you-type, which helps their users to auto-complete queries according to what the most searched phrases among all of the Google users are, and offers top 10 searched phrases. Lovely, isn’t it, how technology facilitates our lives? Not exactly. I decided to have some fun and see what my fellow humans are searching for – as it turns out, we are idiots.
      If you type down “how to”, the 4th suggestion is “how to print screen”. Really? You have a key on your keyboard that says print screen and you still have to ask that? The 6th suggestion is “how to roll a joint”. Your mum must be so proud ... You can’t learn that off the Internet, sweetie, practice makes perfect, trust me.
      Next I tried typing “why do” and obviously everybody wants to know “why do cats purr”. “Why do we fall” was the 3rd, “why do we sleep” was the 5th and “why do we exist” was the 8th suggestion. Some might call this an example of healthy curiosity, some might call this an existential crisis, I would call this a retard invasion. Or apparent marijuana over-abuse. Although nobody seems to know how to roll a joint.
      When I put down “why does my”, Google thought I wanted to know “why does my mum turn me on”. It could be funny, but I think it’s just scary how many teenage boys jerk off to their mothers. If I added a “b”, Google obligingly finished my sentence: “Why does my belly button smell” (number 1), “why does my bum itch” (number 7) and “why does my biceps look weird” (number 10). The first two ponderings can easily be answered: “Because you need a shower!” As for the last one, I can only say: “Because you’re excessively masturbating while thinking of your mother – those are called muscles.”
      Then I tried “why do I” and the first suggestion was “why do I live”. Again with this bullshit? Ok, I admit, it is sad to some extent that there obviously are so many lost souls out there but to look for answers to such questions on the Internet is just bizarre. The 3rd option was “why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer”, which is in my opinion connected to the 5th one: “Why do I smoke weed?” The 7th was “why do I feel different from other people”, but I’m also convinced that the answer lies in the 5th suggestion.
      The next set is adorable. I started with “why is” and Google first suggested: “Why is the sky blue?” Come on!! That’s a 4-year-old-level question!! 4-year-olds don’t know how to spell or type! Who asks these questions?? How stupid are we?! But then suggestions got even better: “Why is my poop green” (3rd), “why is art important” (6th) and “why is weed illegal” (9th). It’s as though the entire Internet was taken over by extremely stoned individuals trying to find answers on the World Wide Web instead of talking amongst themselves like any group of respectful potheads would do. And the last, the 10th most searched phrase starting with “why is” was “why is my Internet so slow”. Because Google taught you how to roll a joint and now you’re high out of your mind. That’s why.
      Lastly I decided to type “how do you know” and these suggestions are my favourite. The 5th suggestion was “how do you know if she loves you” and the 7th “how do you know if he likes me”, which can mean several things:
      a) That boys are more desperate and clueless than girls.
      b) That girls are more complicated and difficult to figure out than boys.
      c) There are more boys in the world and/or on the Internet than girls.
Either way, it warms my heart.
      There are so many inventions, which make our lives easier by thinking for us. We are more than happy to forfeit the ability to use our mind, neglecting or forgetting the fact that our brain should be exercised otherwise it atrophies. I think our race would be better off if more people started to ask Google “how not to become a moron” instead of asking “why do dogs lick”.


I'm wearing:
Jeans: Bershka
Shirt: Newyorker
Infinity scarf: Newyorker
Belt: H&M
Sneakers: Lonsdale
Jacket: Newyorker
Bodycon dress (worn as a top): C&A
Earmuffs: C&A

56 comments:

  1. hi darling <3 you look great :)

    Thank you so much for your sweet comment and for the follow . now following you as well :)

    Much of love,

    http://thefrench-fries.blogspot.pt/

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  2. Haha, google always has funny suggestions. Awesome look
    NANCIEMWAI.COM

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  3. I just love your layers - the black and blue work so well together :)

    XO
    Pearls & Paws

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  4. Lovely blog, thanks for the comment. Following u too:)
    xx

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  5. Hi!
    Love your style!And thanks for commenting my blog!

    Would you like to follow each other?

    Marie
    StyleList By Me Blog
    Facebook
    Bloglovin

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  6. Hi!
    Thanks for visiting and commenting on my blog!
    I like yours! Great mix the pants and jacket! Love the look ;-)
    Love!
    http://qstomizate.blogspot.com.es/

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  7. something similar happened to me, ahhahaaha!!! You look great with this look. Thank you for your comment on my blog. Kisses:)

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  8. thanks ffor visit and comment. nice outfit! Maybe we follow each other? :)

    xx Maddie

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  9. Love your hair, great look :) Thank you for your comment, would you like to follow each other? xx

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  10. Cute outfit! I love the scarf!

    XO,
    Rachel Ashley
    http://fashionablyliving.com

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  11. Love your outfit! It's so perfect for the colder months. Thanks for visiting and commenting :)

    Sylvia
    www.sylvialovespink.com

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  12. GREAT !!! LOVE YOUR PANTS !

    http://saralookbook.blogspot.com

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  13. love the pants! and haha I love those google suggestions, it's always the most inappropriate thing that comes up when you type in "how do i know" or "do i have..."

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    Replies
    1. Do I have!! You're right, I haven't tried that one!!:D "Do I have STI?" Google cracks me up.:D

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  14. what a great look! thanks for stopping by my blog, too! would you like to stay in touch via GFC? if you follow me, i'll come back and follow you :)

    Kate @ A Journey in Style

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  15. love your pants...great color...fabulous...
    www.theprincessgown.com

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  16. Hey dear!
    Thanks for your comment on my blog :) Your blog is lovely!
    Have a wonderful day!
    xx

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  17. great blog! thanks for wisiting! You comment means me a lot!

    Your outfit is simple casual! But with colour scratch ( i mean colorful pants) great jacket goes with my style perfectly!

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  18. great look darling! the bag it's amazing
    http://idareyoutobefashion.blogspot.ro/2012/11/autumn-makeup-simphony.html

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  19. Why does my mom turn me on, LOL! Google is bizarre sometimes, but I enjoy the suggestions. I love your fiery hair!

    WWW.ROXTHEFOX.COM

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  20. Hi dear!
    Great and funny post, google and his crazyness hahhaha
    Love the colour of your hair!
    xoxo

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  21. Thank you honey :) Really nice outfit! Simple, but very fashionable :D Kisses!

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  22. Very goood look! Comfy and fashion!!I love your scarf!
    Please I need your help one second in my blog!M
    Kisses dear

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  23. Great outfit!I love the collor from your hair!
    Thank you for the nice comment on my blog!

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  24. im obsessed with your hair <3 such a fun outfit!!!

    Alexa <3
    http://sleepeatbreathefashion.blogspot.com/

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  25. I loooove your hair it is such a gorgeous color. and those blue pants amazing! thanks so much for stopping by my blog and leaving your lovely comment! now following you and really looking forward to your future posts. hope you can return to visit and do the same. xx. gigi. food and beauty blogger @ www.gigikkitchen.blogspot.com

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  26. thanks for stopping by my blog! great look and post

    xx



    Spoonful of Diamonds
    http://spoonfulofdiamonds.blogspot.com

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  27. Seriously, you look fab!

    I'm hosting a $100 Lulus.com gift card giveaway on the blog. Hope you can enter!

    goodbadandfab.com
    personal style and fashion musings of an LA fashion lawyer living life in the fab lane

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  28. Love your jeans!
    xoxo
    http://2minutosblog.blogspot.com

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  29. Hahaha, I LOVE google, and their suggestions. People are weird and mostly absolute idiots! Great blog!

    I love those jeans, I just got some very similar!

    Thanks for stopping by my blog!

    Corinne x
    www.skinnedcartree.com

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  30. Thank you for your lovely comment on my blog!
    The outfit you wear looks amazing :) x

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  31. Lovely outfit and colors!


    http://www.thegaragestarlets.com/

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  32. Hi, thanks for your comment on my blog!" Look all right, black, white, and blue complement each other!

    ♡blogspot
    ♡Twitter
    ♡Bloglovin

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  33. Wow. I guess everyone on the internet is really obsessed with weed, or weed users are just really obsessed with using the internet while stoned. (Er, that one about the moms turning them on is a bit creepy and mostly not weed related. Yikes!) I insanely love this post, I laughed for so long over it and now I'm off to try to type in stupid stuff to goggle. (This could be hours of entertainment.)

    And before I do, I'm just going to say that I love your bright hair with your bright blue jeans, that is just awesome.

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  34. love your infinity scarf!!!! =)

    http://asouthbreeze.blogspot.pt/

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  35. Super cool look. Love the vibrant blue pants <3

    GIVEAWAY ON MY BLOG
    xo

    glamDevils

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  36. With every picture u post I'm always more and more in love with your hair!
    http://namelessfashionblog.blogspot.it/
    http://www.facebook.com/NamelessFashionBlog

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  37. Bahahah I can completely relate to this..... And you look fawesome by the way :)
    Brooke @ what2wear

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  38. Beautiful outfit!
    Love the pants!
    How about following each other?
    If so, follow me and I will follow you back for sure!

    http://thescentofglamour.blogspot.com/

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  39. so comfy.. like it :)

    Savina
    The Blossom Girls♡

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  40. great outfit girl. I lvoe your scarf and jacket!!
    Btw your hai are amazing, love this colours ;)

    Eirini from http://fashionreactor.blogspot.gr/

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  41. Perfect look ^^
    I love your blue pants :)

    New post - Kisses ♥
    http://www.mademoisellemode.com/

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  42. Hey Darlin! Haha yes the google questions are always hilerious! Especially the how to's? I love your hair colour with these jeans. <3 x

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  43. such a great look!:)thank you so much dear:)) I am now following you too on GFC and bloglovin!!:) keep in touch dear:)) I have a new post now and would love to know your opinion on it!!

    Leonor
    thesparklinglemon.blogspot.com

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  44. love the background! goes so well with your outfit!

    xxx
    Lady à la Mode

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  45. first off great jeans!!! second i adore the backround!!

    www.trendinginfashion.blogspot.com

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  46. Lol I love how you made such a thing as mundane as googling sound so interesting

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    Replies
    1. I love how you actually read all of my gibberish, it really means A LOT.;)
      And thanks to everyone else too, I's really unbelievable that you take the time to leave me a comment! Thank you!!

      Delete

Hi there. Thanks for stopping by and reading my blog. I read every comment and reply to all the questions, so please, speak your mind.