A while back, a friend of mine asked me, how to get rid of a guy, who's been pretty persistent. There are of course the boring methods like ignoring him or telling him that you're seeing someone else but I thought there had to be more creative solutions. So I came up with my list of tips on how to get rid of a guy you don't want buzzing about.
1) When he asks you out, ask him if Mr. Snuggles, your favorite teddy bear, can come too.
2) If he takes you to a restaurant, bring your own food because restaurants are just a government scam to make us into brainwashed zombies so that they could take over the world.
3) Ask him to feed you. Not just dessert, the entire meal. Don't forget, he should feed Snuggles too.
4) Tell him that your ideal man would be Jesus - nobody wants to end up a virgin and crucified.
5) Tell him you don't believe in deodorant.
6) Tell him you have 4 older overprotective brothers.
7) Tell him that you sometimes shower with your brothers because you're so close.
8) Tell him that you have a special bond with your father, who lovingly calls you My Precious (say it in Gollum's voice, of course).
9) Tell him that your father knows Krav Maga.
10) Tell him that your last boyfriend was brutally murdered and your father was the key suspect but the only witness mysteriously disappeared and he had to be acquitted. But you know in your heart that he's innocent.
Or you can do what I always do when I'm fed up with some moron who doesn't get the polite signals: I look in his eyes with a straight face and say "I have syphilis." It works every time.
You can always check the list on how to make a guy want you if you want to achieve the opposite.
I'm wearing: Skirt: eBay (a very lovely gift - thanks, Jerica), Sweater: Tally Weijl, Shirt: H&M, Boots: Pittarello
If you find this (remotely) entertaining, feel free to click on the Twitter button below or subscribe to posts via email. Thanks! See you next Monday, Wednesday and Friday!