Jan 28, 2013

How to Look Cute While Skiing or Snowboarding


      Have you ever wrecked your brain on how the hell to look cute while enjoying some sun and snow skiing or snowboarding? If you have, then you can stop the head-scratching and read on. If you aren't into any of the two mentioned winter sports, you can still read on just so you don't forget how to.
      If you do in fact ski or snowboard, you know how annoying and confusing it is picking up a date on a ski slope. Everybody's hidden away under layers of more or less artificial fabrics and when you get to the warm haven of a lodge with a guy you've just met on a ski lift, you cross your fingers and hope that when he peels off all of the layers - like an onion - he won't make you cry - like an onion. Why? Because unfortunately, it does tend to happen that you get stuck in a situation where you have to guzzle a lot of plum schnapps before you can justify sucking on his ice-sicle. That's why I think looking cute while skiing or snowboarding should be everyone's top priority. Let's be honest: Do you want to look like this?


       My guess is no, so here are my tips for girls who want to deceive no more:
  1. First of - get rid of the helmet. Helmet hair looks much worse than a broken skull, trust me.
  2. Don't wear a hat so others can see your luscious locks. Make sure you wash your hair before hitting the slopes and don't forget to spray it with at least one shine product, preferably fragrant. If you have short hair, don't bother even going. If you're worried that your ears will freeze and fall off, don't - that's why you have to have long hair to hide that minuscule cosmetic error.
  3. If you're not prepared to invest your ears into looking cute, make sure you wear the cutest and the most useless hat possible.
  4. Don't wear gloves. You do have to get a pair and clip them on the sleeves of your jacket so you don't look like an idiot without them, but NEVER put them on. People do have to see your manicure, right? And remember: the brighter the better.
  5. Your pants have to be as tight and as thin as possible so your ass is on full display and there is as little as possible fabric between your gluteus maximus and snow when you fall. And trust me, if you you're concerned about looking cute while your skiing or snowboarding, you will fall. A lot.
  6. Don't forget to open your jacket so everyone will see your new Zara top you got on sale. Remember: If beauty is pain, than cuteness has to be a bitch too. The plus side of freezing with an open jacket is that your nipples will be rock hard and thus more attractive to the male specimens around you.
  7. My next tip would be: Make-up, make-up, make-up. You can't go skiing without putting on at least some primer, foundation, bronzer, two coats of mascara and some bright lipstick. Fake lashes are optional (but I say that just so the lazy ones don't feel like complete amateurs because fake lashes AREN'T optional).
  8. Goggles are definitely banned from the list of cutifying items. If you do have to hide all of that hard work of putting on layers of make-up behind glasses, make sure they're as cute and, again, as useless as possible. You can find some good examples of the items mentioned in the photos below.
       All in all, my point is: Nobody pays a considerably hefty chunk of money for ski passes just to go skiing. Like in life in general, looks are the only thing that matters so make an effort. Don't care about actually perfecting your technique since no respectful dude will even notice it after seeing how you look while you're slumping down the slope like a moron. Remember: When it comes to any sport, cuteness always comes first, safety is just its ugly sister that nobody wants to fuck.



      Feel free to click on the Twitter button below or subscribe to posts via email. I'd be beaming! Hope to see you back this Wednesday and Friday and again next Monday!

      Peet

38 comments:

  1. Well in my case too the slopes have different dating rules than real life (lol real life). You measure the guys hotness by the stunts he's pulling and the ability to board or ski. Ok, and a good noticeable ski jacket helps. :D
    Though now I see, I haven't been giving enough attention to my appearance in that white jungle... *blush*

    T.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for comment! ;)

    http://omotesandobags.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. adorable post girl..u have a very unique style of writing and i love it!!
    ive followed u on GFC, twitter and bloglovin! will keep visitn :D
    New post abt my style inspiration is up sweets :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. You're such a smart ass and I love it :)

    ‎xo Ashley
    luckylittlebird.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know!!:D Top 10 world's smart asses easily.:D

      Delete
  5. Wow cute panda!!! thanks for your comment.
    I'm following you.
    kisses

    http://lestyledelapetiteblonde.blogspot.com.es/

    ReplyDelete
  6. Aw, so beauiful post!!!

    U look adorable!!!

    Nicole

    www.nicoleta.me

    ReplyDelete
  7. So cute, i love it !
    xoxo

    www.descontraidas.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hahah this is adorable!

    www.trendinginfashion.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. A broken skull looks better than helmet hair, haha. You are funny.

    I love skiing, I have not been for about 8 years though. I am trying to change this by slowly convincing my housemates to learn how to ski at an indoor slope =)

    Corinne x
    www.skinnedcartree.com

    ReplyDelete
  10. LOL excellent advice, of course :)

    -Ashley
    Breakfastatsaks.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. peet, you look adorable! i hope you're joking, cause i don't want you to hurt yourself. you know stay safe, play safe, and i'm referring to all activities. i like your hat, your blouse, and that manicure is fab too. the plum schnapps and the ice-sicle was my fave. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, yes, joking all the way.:) That's me in the second photo in the middle, that's how I look when I go skiing - like a yettified ball of fabric.:)

      Delete
  12. tooo cutee peet =)your shirt is luxe.

    love,
    Yati from Malaysia

    http://yatiinoah.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  13. This is such a stunning post. I don't go skiing or snowboarding but I guess a lot of people will have greathelp from this post!!! great job x

    ReplyDelete
  14. thanks for your nice comment, your post is amazing!!

    Pretty To Be Happy

    ReplyDelete
  15. hahaha this is such a great post! cuz it's hard to be cute while skiing!

    the STYLE Fringe BLOG
    http://the-stylefringe.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  16. lol love it!!! And your panda hat and glasses :)

    {love jenny xoxo}

    ReplyDelete
  17. haha, so there's a way to look cute while skiing, good to know! Love your hat :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. love love love love

    www.islandchic77.com

    ReplyDelete
  19. hahha your tips are so funny!

    ReplyDelete
  20. so frikin cute!!
    XO
    Jamie www.candystilettos.com

    ReplyDelete
  21. Great post! Although I never personally cared too much on looking cute when I'm on the slopes trying to stay warm and trying to prevent myself from getting a butt bruise. ^_^

    xxoo,
    Melanie
    www.aetherlily.net

    ReplyDelete
  22. Amazing pictures!
    Thank you for the nice comment on my blog!

    ReplyDelete
  23. I love the panta hat ! :D

    xo ,
    Ana Catalarrana

    ReplyDelete
  24. Very cool!

    http://www.fashionroll.com

    ReplyDelete
  25. Cute outfit! Thanks for stopping by my blog :)

    xo
    http://razzdazzle.blogspot.mx/

    ReplyDelete
  26. Crappy advise, love it! :p

    NOMADISMBYINE.BLOGSPOT.COM

    ReplyDelete

Hi there. Thanks for stopping by and reading my blog. I read every comment and reply to all the questions, so please, speak your mind.