Feb 11, 2013

How to Get Famous Quickly: 10 Easy Tips

      Some of you unfortunately already saw the video of Giovanna Plowman sucking on her own USED tampon (and then throwing up after getting sick from SUCKING ON HER OWN USED TAMPON) in search of fame and recognition. I've tweeted her shiny moment a few days ago so if you follow FPS on Twitter, you might have had a look already; if not, you can check it there. If you feel the need to see it that is.
      Poor Giovanna (these days better known as the tampon girl) ... Desperate times call for desperate measures and if you're that desperate for fame, then you obviously have to do shit like this or rob a bank and make a video about it or something along those lines. True? No. I'm not going to talk about how disgusting her move was because it pretty much goes without saying - she taped herself eating her own damn period after all - but I am going to talk about how her plan wasn't well thought out.
      If she was going for the 15 minutes of fame, then she had all of her bases covered: She did something nobody had done before, it was shocking and she videotaped it. BUT. If you want long(er)-lasting fame and glory, you need a concept. Where is she going to go from there? What will her next big move be? Stunts involving other bodily fluids are more or less out of the picture, because the porn industry fucked that up for her (quite literally) with all of the golden showers and Roman showers and what not. So how is she going to step up her game? Johnny Knoxville didn't just tape himself while a baby alligator chewed on his nipple and called it quits. There was a concept. Sacha Baron Cohen has done some crazy shit but he too has had a concept AND a message. Lady Gaga may be walking around in meat dresses, in eggs and with her own private satellites or whatever but did you know that she was a part of the program for gifted and talented youth at the Johns Hopkins Center just like Mark Zuckerberg (founded Facebook), Sergey Brin (co-founded Google) and George Hotz (hacked iPhone and PlayStation 3) were. She too has an IQ over 140. And a concept. What does Giovanna Plowman have? A video of herself sucking on a tampon.
      There's not a shadow of a doubt in my mind that soon she'll be a benchwarmer just like Vanilla Ice is, never a significant part of the fame game she's so hungry for, pardon the pun. Be honest: Do you know any other Vanilla Ice's songs besides Ice Ice Baby?
      For some people 15 minutes are all they need and I want to help those out. So if you have a camera and are willing to sell your dignity for a few clicks on YouTube, try one of these tips on how to get famous fast:

  1. Wax your lashes.
  2. Have sex with a tree.
  3. If you're feeling very adventurous, have sex with a cactus.
  4. Jump the fence and play tag with an ostrich, a rhino, a lion or any other animal at the local ZOO.
  5. Pop your zits and save your fat until you have enough to fry an egg.
  6. Staple your nipples together with an office stapler if you're a girl. Staple your mom's, sister's, girlfriend's ... nipples together while she's sleeping if you're a boy.
  7. See how many plums, cherries, marbles ... it takes for you to shove up your ass before they pop out through your mouth.
  8. Don't blow a president, make a sex tape with the pope.
  9. Make tea from your pubic hair and drink it. (Tricks like these involving your body parts and fluids can easily be elevated if you use other people's fluids and parts - a tip for Miss Plowman perhaps?)
  10. Try all of these out, not just one.

I'm wearing:
Denim shorts: Clark + DIY
Polka dot top: H&M
Leather jacket: Newyorker
Shirt: Newyorker
Bag: eBay
Tights: Calzedonia
Sunglasses: H&M
Boots: Dr. Martens + DIY

      Feel free to click on the Twitter button below or subscribe to posts via email if you find this in any way amusing. Hope to see you back on Wednesday, Friday and Monday!



  1. Thank you dear...


    Coline !

  2. It's a funny post and I love your outfit. :)

    Would you like to follow each other? Follow me if you want and I'll be happy to follow you back. :)

  3. omg hilarious and a bit disgusting but I love how your brain works... half of your ideas would have never crossed my mind!!
    I had never heard about her, but I think I prefer being an unknown loser than sucking on a tampon aghh
    Love your post!
    Oh and your boots rock

  4. awesome sunnies!


    Angela Donava

  5. Luckily, I've managed to miss out on her escapades. Sicko.. You're controversial and I like it ;)

    xo Ashley

  6. ahhahaha love your look! well I was really serious about the pope but I heard he resigned... so too bad !seriously I also wanted to vomit when you talked about this irl sucking her tampon. WTF with people ? Darn, reading your list, I think I am not that desperate (YET) ^^

  7. you make me laugh! Lol with point 8!!
    love your boots!
    You have an amazing blog!

    love, Gongy


  8. Great jacket and cute sweater. Thanks for your comment.
    I'm following you.


  9. hahahahha.... you are hilarious! I guess sex with the pope is out of the question for the moment, the pope resigns!
    I like your sense of humor and sense of style!

  10. Hahaha that's funny! You look fabulous!

  11. I love your outfit when I read this I can't stop laughing!

  12. Aaah how nasty, I hope you didn't come up with these yourself ;) Love your nonchalant bun!

    1. Of course I did - I signed my name at the bottom, didn't I?;)

  13. thank you for your visit on my blog!Love the pois sweater, follow each others!!

  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

  15. This made me laugh xx


  16. WTF!!!???? Did she really did that???? for real??? I haven´t got enough estomach to see that video... Gosh, what´s wrong with people!!??
    Anyway, we´ll try the sex thing with a tree or a cactus..but not for fame, just for the fun of it!

    Thanks for your comment! We really appreciate it

  17. Lol hilarious!!!!!!!!!!! And I love the denim short BTW!

    I'm following you! Follow back =)
    Lattes & Lacee

  18. WTF?! lol :)
    Love your blouse!!


  19. LOL! always a great read! love the layering and the polka dots! -xo.melody

  20. Oh my... quite a story. Love the look though, fun with the polka dots!

    X Marjolein - Never Too Polished.com

  21. LOL HOW CUTE!!



  22. ew ew ew how could that girl do that! your choices are slightly... okay, very disturbing. You look very rock n roll in your outfit :)

    Mili from call me, Maeby

  23. just the mentioning of the tampon video form now on makes me cringe. funny post dear! and cute outfit-love the polka dot :)

  24. Hahaha OMG, those are really "great" tips! :) Plus, I really like your blouse!


  25. Hahaha very hard típs!I prefer to be anonymus
    Kisses dear

  26. Haha love the post! The things that go through some people's head are crazy!
    On the other hand love the look!
    Would be amazing if you could visiting my blog too, we can follow each as well other if you like? Let me know what you think!

    Dave! x


  27. Thanks for visitng my blog and for such a lovely comment! Really nice of you!
    Great blog, i love your look, great! :)

  28. Beautiful look!!! thank you so much for your visit!
    Would you like to follow each other?
    Besos, desde España, Marcela♥

  29. WOW!! Gorgeous photos! Those doc martens are just sooooooo cool on you!!


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