Feb 18, 2013

How to Get Rid of a Girl: 10 Simple Tips


      A while back after I posted this, a friend of mine, a BOY friend, texted me that I should write tips on how to get rid of a girl as well. After I got his message, I thought: "Cool, boys read my blog too!" And: "That lucky bastard has girls throwing themselves at him left and right, obviously." So to help a friend out, these are my tips on how to repel women.

  1. When you two meet, ask her what kind of foundation/eyeliner/mascara she's using. When she answers, say: "Oh my god, me too!"
  2. When you're planning a date, ask her: "Can my ex join us? We split up a long time ago but she's my best friend, we do everything together."
  3. Or, when planning a date, ask her this: "Can my mom join us? I really want her opinion of you. You know what they say - mommy knows best!" and giggle.
  4. Suggest a dinner date. When she asks where you are taking her, say: "What do you mean where? Your place. You're a woman, you can cook, can you? Or is there something wrong with you?"
  5. Tell her that you almost choked to death licking a scoop of ice cream when you were 5 so you have a crippling fear of licking and you haven't licked anything since and you never will.
  6. When you get together immediately say: "Does your breath smell funky? I think your breath smells funky. Do you want a mint because your breath definitely smells funky." Just to be sure that she'll hate you forever, also ask her: "When was the last time you saw a dentist? Because I think you have a rotten tooth," and then turn her face away from yourself and politely add: "Could you, please, just look the other way when you speak?"
  7.  Say: "Victoria's Secret makes the best lingerie - I almost can't feel the thong riding up my butt crack."
  8. When you get to second base, say: "Wow, your breast feel exactly like my mom's!"
  9. Tell her that you don't believe in monogamy.
  10. After you've told her you don't believe in monogamy, tell her that you want to have a threesome with you, her and a goat.
        To be on the safe side, you can use more than one but I think, if a girl's reasonably smart and not completely desperate, one will suffice. If you try all of them and she still wants to see your face, then she's either an imbecile, the coolest person on the planet or for some reason thinks you have an enormous penis and you will never ever ever EVER get rid of her.


I'm wearing:
Sweater: H&M men
Leggings: H&M
Sneakers: Golddigga
Hat: Cyberdog (In case you were wondering:
Yes, the paint glows in the dark.)

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      Peet

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51 comments:

  1. haha love your cap !
    No but seriously, no penis is big enough for that kind of shit, like I mean... NO WAY ! You found very good ones ! Sadly enough, I think I met some of these numbers somewhere in my history (3 & 4 for exemple).

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    Replies
    1. Really??:D Which ones?!?! Because one of these actually happened to me, I haven't made it up.:)

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    2. haha 2 and 5... and I guess we can consider that one tried 10 (well, see you would argue that it wasn't a goat, but you haven't seen her face, else you would know it was close enough ...).
      Anyway, each time, it worked very well, I ran away ;)

      Delete
  2. You are just a hoot! And there is no drugs or alcohol involved

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  3. hahahah! love this and love the hat! thanks for stopping by the blog! xo, Julie
    www.fromproseccotoplaid.com

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  4. Very funny post for sure! Liking this whole combo. Very hip!

    xxTheresa

    http://www.the-habit.com

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  5. awesome hat, you rock!!!
    rock4less.blogspot.co.uk

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  6. you are hilarious! those would TOTALLY repel a woman for sure! i love the bright colored hat and the fab sweater and sneakers!

    http://spinning-threads.blogspot.com

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  7. Oh, this is great!

    http://mandycrandell.blogspot.com/

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  8. Waow, love this pictures, the colors are just perfect! :)

    www.deluxefashionista.com

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  9. The only that would make me like the hat more, is if it was studded. Amazing.

    xo Ashley
    luckylittlebird.blogspot.com

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  10. Great cap! That list is one of the funniest things I've read on a blog ~ I really hope guys try them out!

    Carmen Ri.

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  11. Sneakers!! Love them, and #5 has to be the best :) Funny how it takes something so extreme sometimes to ward girls off

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  12. Hahahahaha, #8 is too funny. I have found that going in the bathroom and telling them that the toilet is clogged after you.....well....That doesn't go over to well either, even if it is her parents house. "Where do you keep the mop and plunger??"

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  13. haha yeah i think that would guarantee to get her away for sure!

    Jessica
    http://www.jumpintopuddles.com

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  14. Haha, this was too funny but great tips nonetheless!*
    Love your cap, it's amazing!*
    Great pictures doll!*

    xXx

    luxachic.com

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  15. me ha encantado el post y tu estilo ¿Nos seguimos?
    BESOS!!! :D

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  16. Cappello carinissimo (: Reb, xoxo.

    *Nuovo post sul mio blog, fammi sapere cosa ne pensi:
    http://www.toprebel.com/2013/02/velvet-goldmine-new-shop.html

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  17. Hahahaha this is hilarious!!! Love it. And I'm big time loving the hat- would be perf for an electronic dance party ;)

    Http://streetlily.blogspot.com

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  18. great hat !!!
    Milca
    new post come in
    www.milcaway.blogspot.it

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  19. hah! great tips! love the look! look like you're ready to party!! -xo.melody

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  20. Fantastic pics !
    Following on twitter : do you have a FB page or instagram?

    Http://Fashioneiric.blogspot.com

    Coline !

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    Replies
    1. Funny you should ask that...:) I don't have a FB or Instagram profile. Not for my blog, not for myself. I know, I'm a weirdo.:)

      Delete
  21. HAHAHHA love this post, and your cap!

    xx

    liquoriceandpumps.blogspot.com

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  22. Hilarious! Love it. And also love your mens' sweater.

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  23. lol.. got a good chuckle here! xx
    www.vicariousLA.com

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  24. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA I CAN NEVER EVER READ YOUR BLOG WHEN I AM AT WORK EVER AGAIN, YOU ARE GONNA GET ME FIRED!!!

    LOL so hilarious!! When I reached number 5 I was already dying! This IS GOLD!!!!!! LOLOL! Number 7 - KILLER! Number 10 - OMGEE! LOLOL! OKAY, the next time some guy says that to me, I will know where he got his ideas from, this is brilliant lolol!

    Thanks to your guy friend for suggesting that you should make a post on this because, THIS IS GOLD! LOL!

    Sorry, cracking up! I really like your glow in the dark hat too but I am sorry, this post is so hilarious that I can't look at anything or any guy for a while, especially when thinking of a guy with VS's Thong!

    I've followed you on Twitter and GFC because I can't wait for your next post! LOLOL!

    Sorry, I am REALLY cracking up. Stahp mish.

    mish
    www.mishberries.com

    HAHAHAHA. Gee mish, stop.

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  25. Haha, those would work for me. :D

    Love the outfit!

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  26. Love the hat!!!

    http://stylearua.blogspot.com.es

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  27. Nice outfit and great post :)

    Thanks for your comment!
    www.timolove.com

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  28. OMG! great pics;)
    you look amazing;)

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    Replies
    1. Great name!:D Thanks for stopping by, honey!

      Delete
  29. Haha, those tips I'm sure would work very effectively! :p

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  30. I just published a post about customisable jeans.... I'd like to know what do u think about it!
    http://namelessfashionblog.blogspot.it/2013/02/do-my-jeans.html

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  31. cool cap!
    kisses!

    Angela Donava

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  32. ahahah great post!
    I like your sneakers!
    thank you so much for your comment!
    muah*
    mariana

    http://asouthbreeze.blogspot.pt/

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  33. Thanks to everyone for taking the time to read and to comment!!
    xoxo

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  34. That's hilarious.... um, oops! I think I'm guilty of a couple of those (1, 2 and 7). Maybe that's why I'm not seeing anyone? Love your H&M sweater, leggings and Cyberdog hat.

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  35. Hah, awesome outfit & tips ..
    I once needed to get rid of a girl (I'm straight, so you'll see why x)),
    I instinctively used some phrases similar to your tips, so I guess they work ;)

    Great post!

    NOMADISMBYINE.BLOGSPOT.COM

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  36. Thanks! I follow you now as well :) Great cap by the way x

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Hi there. Thanks for stopping by and reading my blog. I read every comment and reply to all the questions, so please, speak your mind.