Yesterday, I was at our local grocery store and I saw a heap of Easter eggs sitting there on a shelf right next to their plain, regular peers looking all eastery in their holiday costumes and abandoned. It was impossible for me to miss them since they looked like something a unicorn threw up after having eaten too much rainbow: neon pink, neon green, turquoise, acid yellow, all of the colors the human eye can see and the pothead's mind can imagine and then some. That right there explains why they're still on that shelf. Neon frigging Easter eggs?!
Whenever I see Easter eggs, bright or not, I think of a story. And whenever I tell that story to anyone, they look at me like I'm crazy and say/think I'm making it up because I never know the dates or names or anything. But I'm not making it up and I've checked the facts and now I'm going to tell it as it is, corroborating it with data. So on with the story.
It all began in 1357 in Czech Republic, in Prague to be exact, when King Charles IV decided to build a bridge (today called the Charles bridge). To make it stronger, the builders used a mixture of milk, wine and eggs to bind the sandstones in the structure. That's why Charles the King ordered to collect as many eggs as possible from the surrounding villages. Eggs started rolling in and everyone was keen on contributing because the bridge was actually pretty important back in the day (it was a major trade connection between Eastern and Western Europe). Then one day, a couple of wagons FULL of eggs came from a village called Velvary and the construction workers were beyond excited because they needed all the material they could get their hands on - the construction was a huge undertaking, after all the bridge is 516 meters (1.692 feet) long and 9.5 meters (31 feet) wide and it took about 60 years to build it. So they saw those wagons piled up with eggs, right, they got all happy, right, and then it turned out... That the eggs were hardboiled. The Velvary villagers decided to cook them so they wouldn't damage during transfer. Pretty clever, right? After that the whole Prague stunk of rotten eggs because people weren't able to eat that many eggs that fast.
The way I see it, Velvary didn't fuck up, King Charles did since the moral of this TRUE story is: Specify. Relying on other people to have common sense just proves you don't.
I'd just like to wish you all a very merry Friday and a happy weekend! Don't forget to follow via Twitter and/or spread the love. Posting days are Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays so see you next week on Monday!