Apr 5, 2013

Why I'm Happy to Be a Woman


      Last week, while I was walking Sir Fartalot, a girl on a bike zoomed past me, she couldn't have been more than 7 years old. Then, seconds later, I heard a frail, wimping voice: "Hey, wait up! I can't go that fast! Slow down. Please!!" I turned around and saw a panting boy, slowly and miserably pedaling away all red in his face, almost crying. Seeing that, my heart started to beam with joy. Girls are better than boys, that's a given, but when our superiority makes boys cry... Is there anything sweeter than that? So I started thinking about some of the reasons why I'm happy to be a woman.
  1. The first one is a no-brainer: Women look better naked. Almost every person on this planet will agree. Except gay men. With whom I respectfully agree to disagree. BIG TIME.
  2. If I'm ever on a sinking ship, I'll get saved before men. Plus, if I don't make it into one of the life rafts, the percentage of body fat for women is greater than that for men, so I have a better chance of survival because I'm more buoyant. Who thought fat would ever end up on a list of advantages, huh?
  3. In connection to the previous point, I can get drunk faster, since I have less muscle mass, which means I save money on drinks. But not that I want to get drunk. Or drink. I never drink. Ever. Alcohol is very bad for you!
  4. I thought that women have a lesser chance of getting bald but that isn't the case. We are just as likely to go bald BUT we start to bald a lot later in life and our hair slowly thins all over so I'll probably die before I go bald. Ha!
  5. Breasts are a great example of female supremacy. Boobs are like a Swiss army knife - very handy in all kinds of situations. You can flash them, shake them, scratch them to change the subject, divert attention, get stuff, get out of stuff, the possibilities are endless.
  6. I can easily hide it when I'm aroused. No need for an explanation, right? There is no ERECTION!!
  7. When I'm at a club, at a bar or at the dentist's office and I'm being harassed by an overly eager representative of the male sex (who's looking for precisely that), I can simply say: "I'm on my period." Period is the best pick-up line reflective shield available and a model compatible with the male anatomy hasn't been developed yet. They can use: "I have Chlamydia," or: "My discharge is an odd greenish color this time of the month," but they'll be sex-free for a long time.
  8. Balls are another great reason why I'm happy to be a woman. Because I don't have to have them. Let's not kid ourselves, balls are hilarious. Try flashing those - there's a reason those videos are called Girls Gone Wild and not Balls Gone Wild. Besides, thanks to evolution the male specimens have their most precious belongings hanging outside their bodies (thus making them vulnerable as fuck). Why? Because semen has to be kept in a slightly cooler environment or it goes bad. Have you ever heard of anything more ridiculous?!
  9. I don't need to waste time cutting my nails, since it's acceptable for women to grow them long. And what's even better, I don't need to keep them clean either, I can just put a coat of nail polish over them and I'm done. I'm always surprised how much shit is under there whenever I do a polish change.
  10. We have the best extortion method at our disposal - we can get pregnant. Or not. It's actually all up to us. Being able to get pregnant really gives us the upper hand. Or more like the uppercut. Girl: "I want a baby."  Boy: "I don't think I'm ready yet." Girl: "Well, guess what, bitch, I'm already pregnant." KPOW!
      When the girl was long out of my sight, the boy finally caught up with me. Although completely out of breath, he still managed to say: "Good afternoon, ma'am." And I thought: "So you're not just a sensitive little troll, you're stupid too, huh." I mean, do I look like a ma'am?! But worry not, dear male reader, your kind too has some peculiarities, which might be perceived as lacking in the awesomeness of ingenuity, which is the female body. And I will disclose those too. One day. When I figure out, which those are. Girl power!


I'm wearing:
Denim shirt: eBay
Top: H&M
Earrings: Accessories
Pants: H&M
Heels: eBay
Rings: eBay

      Don't forget to follow FPS via Twitter and/or share this post if you like the ladies. And let's be honest, who doesn't like the ladies?? Posting days are Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays so hopefully you'll be back next Monday. If not, I hope your period lasts for 20 days straight or your discharge actually turns green!

      Peet

53 comments:

  1. Balls gone wild! hehhehehehehe.

    But is it wrong that I would watch it? Not buy it - but watch it.

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  2. i always love your writing style ! love it, and totally agree with you, we women and girls rock ass
    xx ish
    tiny-heart-beats.blogspot.com

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  3. i'm laughing my ass off at n. 3 & 10 :D

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  4. I am so chuckling! yeah right you don't drink lol! Your fifth point has confirmed in my mind that I should go for that boob job, and your ninth point is exactly the reason I tend not to wear neutral or clear colours on my fingernails or toenails.

    I'm all for girl power, but I can certainly think of a few advantages to being a bloke.

    Anyway see you Monday because I don't want either of those symptoms!!

    http://forcailini.blogspot.com

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  5. I love your Girl Power post! I literally laughed out loud at some of the reasons! Love your edgy look! The red pumps are amazing!

    Rebecca
    www.winnipegstyle.ca

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  6. OMG I just lol´ed at the last point :´D Also I would never want to be a man, girls just have it way easier in so many situations! I mean feminism and all is some good stuff but I think that nowadays it´s boys who could need some help. Besides our physical advantages we also have it easier when it comes to human interactions. For example when a women is being treated in a rough way she has the option to start to cry and everybody will be sorry for her. Just imagine a man doing that! Nobody will be sorry for him but just embarrased to see a "man" cry. Men always think they have to hide their feelings in front of their mates which makes a friendship quite superficial, too!
    So: go girls, go girls :D
    xx
    www.clothesandcamera.com

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  7. You are indisputably 100 percent correct. I'm ashamed to admit that I'm a male, but at least I recognize the inferiority of my gender - general thinking with the wrong head whilst the other one is having it's inclinations swayed by that evil hormone testosterone as well. I feared a sex change operation would make it more likely that I'd have to deal with men. The vast majority of the time (except on the internet) I masquerade as a typical male. Here on the internet, however, the truth is told: I love wearing ladies panties! They are a superior garment compared to men's underwear. I did a NSFW video on the subject but uploaded it to Funny or Die instead of YouTube because it contains discussion of women dealing with those pesky man parts. I'm trying to stay G or PG o YouTube. The Funny or Die video is: ""Why Women Should Demand That Men Wear Ladies Panties NSFW" In summation: Women are the superior gender.

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  8. You look amzing. Thank you for your commment. I follow you at GFC and Bloglovin and I would be happy if you decide to follow me back in both:-)
    Kisses
    Aga

    New post
    INTERNATIONAL GIVEAWAY WITH INDRESSME - WIN $40!!!
    Follow me at Bloglovin!
    www.agasuitcase.com

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  9. I love reading your posts!!!! I always enjoy that ;)

    Eirini
    www.fashionreactor.com

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  10. this is hilarious and so true I love those heels by the way!

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  11. Ah, you always crack me up, Peet! Definitely a list full of truths :) Love the comparison between boobs and swiss army knives and, yeah, balls are weird. Don't know how guys deal with those things on a daily basis ;

    -Jen

    www.vibrantbeautyblog.com

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  12. hahaha I have to say I was seriously cracking up! Very true.


    xx

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  13. I just read like 10 of your older posts and had the best time EVER reading a blog. I'm not even joking. All the posts were hilarious!

    I am planning on starting some kind of blogroll section soon and would like to put yours there. Would you like to exchange links with me? Oh, and please don't feel pressured at all!

    Talk soon!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the comment and the compliment, babe!! And thank you for considering me for your blogroll, I think it's a great idea you're proposing, I'm game.;)

      Delete
  14. Very interesting post sweety,

    Check my latest post about blogging tips!

    http://rock-and-roses.blogspot.ro/2013/04/basic-bloggin-guide-part-1.html

    Kisses from Bucharest,

    Silvia

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  15. great post, I love to be a woman

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  16. Hi dear!! I've just discovered your blog and its so amazing :)
    Beautiful pictures and its indeed an amazing post!!
    Come to my blog too;
    http://peaceinmyshoes.blogspot.com.es

    ReplyDelete
  17. Amazing post!! Your top ten it's just perfect!
    You are a great writer!!!

    have a nice weekend! besos.
    http://onecolourorathemedaybyday.blogspot.com

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  18. Hahaha pretty hilarious but pretty accurate!! :)

    HTTP://THEREDCOATODYSSEY.BLOGSPOT.COM

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  19. great post ;)

    xoxo
    http://emyniaaa.blogspot.com

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  20. I will remember this list when I'm my period! xx

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  21. Adorei o look , os sapatos são lindos :)


    Beijinhos

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  22. Amazing outfit! I love it:)

    http://theprintedsea.blogspot.de/

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  23. Hahaha! Okay, seriously one of the best posts I've read in a loooong time xD
    You are a master at crafting witty posts - this list had me giggling throughout all of it, and I love the empowering reasons you gave for why it's awesome to be a woman :)
    Also, great outfit, of course. The red heels are so sexy.
    Thanks for the wonderful comment you left me as well. <3
    I'll try that bag-punching-out advise you gave me ;)

    Trendy Teal

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  24. Amazing :)

    http://trapeziovermelho.blogspot.pt

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  25. thank you love for the compliment, you re so sexy in these heels!

    Savina

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  26. Merci for your lovely comment on my blog! ♥ I like your thoughtful blog and your beautiful pictures - your arm tattoo is really sexy ! I Would love to keep in touch with you!!! Maybe you want to follow each other?
    Love, Kyra

    www.kyras.de

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  27. still not convinced it's a good deal. I mean we have our periods jeez ! That's definately a pain... and boobs are so annoying to run with... and... we can get pregnant. What kind of torture is that ???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know... But you can always look at the glass as half empty. But isn't it more fun to see it as half full?:)

      Delete
  28. you are hilarious! i too am thankful that i am a woman! although balls gone wild... hmm i think that would make for a good title for an adam sandler movie, or some porn star's biography.

    thank you for commenting on my blog!

    modern.girl

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right!! Adam Sandler in Balls Gone Wild does have a perfectly suiting ring to it!!:D

      Delete
  29. Ohhhhhh fuck!! I thought i was the only person in world that things naked women are prettier than men!! Yesterday i was arguing with my flatmate about this. Thank you dear, you have solved an incipient war! =)

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  30. Love your heels, such a great post too - go the girls haha!
    Your blog is great too, going back to check out past posts now!
    Would you like to follow each other on GFC or bloglovin'??

    Kendra
    xx

    www.stoleninspiration.com

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  31. Yay, for NO BALLS! This post is hilarious :)

    xo, Megan
    indie flower

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  32. Beautiful picture of you.

    If you get a sec, please check out my latest post 'Springtime Coral'.

    Hope you had a great weekend.

    Sofia

    stylishlyinlove.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  33. That was really funny but I would love the be a man for just one day. Yes I want that one day :)

    xx

    glamdevils

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  34. Hee hee you're too right about a lot of those points! Thanks for commenting on my blog, now following you on GFC!

    Prabal Gurung for Target Giveaway!

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  35. First of all, boobs. Second, you look hot as hell! And lastly, I agree with each and every one of these points. You never fail to make me laugh (and simultaneously agree with you..)

    xo Ashley
    thetiniestfirecracker.com

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  36. Its good to be an assertive intelligent female who knows what they want and how to get it
    M

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  37. beautiful heels !
    you look amazing :)
    Thank you for your comment!
    Angelique.

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  38. Lol, your text is hilarious! I totally agree with what you wrote ;)

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  39. hheheee what more can I said,,, funny balls gone wild hahhhaa,,,,
    love your red heels, its so statement =)

    love,
    Yati from Malaysia

    http://yatiinoah.blogspot.com/

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  40. HAHA @ #3 Today's not April Fool Peet! >DDDDD

    And boobs as swiss army LOL I like how you describe them. Real handy indeed >D AH well but I hate period :< Nasty little few days. On the bright side, there's a mountain of chocolates!

    Lady, please stay away from real gun and shoot zombies only okay??? Pew pew pew! Or if there's ever a zombie apocalypse, I am staying with you. For real <3 Great tattoo, the calligraphy one! I love word tattoos, I find them very uh, no word to describe but I think they look good and meaningful <3

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  41. Had a lot to write but am too drunk to see what i even type. wrote tpp instead of too. so bad scene heheheh

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    Replies
    1. I'm so curious how the comment looked and what you said!!!!:D

      Delete
  42. Women look better naked. I totally agree with you. The male body looks good only if its topless, otherwise ewww.

    When it comes to drinking, sadly I can drink like a tank so I dont save money and get super drunk too. Hence i couldnt comment on this post yesterday cas I was drunk.

    Breasts are definitely a great example of female supremacy. Love how you've mentioned the awesome things we can do with them :D

    bahaha love the period excuse!!

    And yeah, Balls are gross

    And pregnancy - both a curse and a boon lol . Love the KPOW in the end!

    xx
    www.junewantsitall.com

    ReplyDelete

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