Grocery shopping is an annoying enough endeavor by itself (yes, for me it's an endeavor, it's not just an errand): You have to remember what you came to the store for (if you aren't smart enough to write it down beforehand), you have to fight the urge to get everything else but the stuff you came in for because it looks more enticing, you have to get through the maze of aisles and people (and I'm not sure which are worse but I think it's a close tie in favor of people) and then when you think you see the finish line, you don't. You see the queue line. And that's when the party begins.
I don't know why or how, but people seem to think that the longer the line the closer you have to stand together to get out of the store quicker, therefore people don't just stand near you, they get closer and closer trying to stand in the same spot as you. May I remind you that no two objects can occupy the same space at the same time. It's physics. That's the frigging law. You don't trust me? Then find out what the Pauli Exclusion Principle is all about before you try to weasel your way into my torso so your eyeballs can peek out through my mouth next time you're standing behind me.
These bitches need to be put in their places and of course, I have mastered a technique of doing just that. Sometimes I don't care and I don't do anything, but you have a better chance of seeing a blue moon than me all zen and relaxed at a store. On other occasions, I either turn around really quickly and look that person straight in their eyes until they feel awkward and move back or I suddenly take a step back and look down as if I've dropped something. That usually has a domino effect. And I love it. These techniques aren't accompanied by verbal affirmations of any kind, I rarely say anything - Mahatma Gandhi was a very quiet dude and people got his message and so far people seem to get mine too.
The phenomenon of cannery lines isn't reserved just for the grocery stores. People don't care about other people's personal space just as much at the post office, the bank, the pharmacy... everywhere where the act of going there itself is irksome enough. Even though at some places you have lines drawn on the floor and signs saying "RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE'S PERSONAL SPACE", people still sneak upon you. So here are some hints to go by when in doubt: If there isn't enough space for two oxygen atoms to exist between you and me - you're standing too close. If you're digging a hole in my back with your incredibly pointy handbag - you're standing too close. If I can smell that you need a mint or a tooth extraction - you're standing too close. If I can feel your genitals on my butt - you're standing too close. If I can hear your nose whistling while you breathe because you have a dried up booger somewhere in there - you're standing too close. So... Do you mind?!
What I'd wear today:
Orange pants: H&M
Striped top: H&M
Nail polish: Maybelline
There are new posts coming up every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, so hopefully you'll be back this Wednesday!