Jun 10, 2013

You Can Go to Hell and Stay There


      Remember this post? No? Well, in it I said I love all animals, which actually isn't true. I wouldn't say that I lied, I just used too broad of a term, since there are (at least) two species I'm slightly hesitant about loving them.
      I'm somewhat afraid of cats, because they can claw like their claws are made of diamonds and can probably slit your jugular vein without even trying. I think my fear came about when a fat, mean, grumpy cat scratched my dog's cornea. In case you're wondering what a cornea is, it's the thin outer layer covering your eyeball. You think your skin is tender? Try scratching your cornea. A long claw-mark ran all across the poor guy's eye, but luckily it healed quickly and his vision was intact.
      Despite the unfortunate incident, that didn't make me hate cats. Hate is a sad way to waste anyone's energy, especially on such cute little purring fur-balls - I just rather keep my distance. But there is a species, which I'd never ever go near it ever again, no matter how cute it would be (and they don't even make them remotely cute, by the way) and that's a camel.
      When I was in Jordan with my brother and his then girlfriend now wife, THEY wanted to take a camel tour around one of the deserts. Ok, I thought it would be cool to go too, but now I just feel better blaming them for the whole thing. At first, we were all tied together like a perfect, peaceful, idyllic little caravan, but then MY camel had enough of looking at its friend's hairy, smelly butt and decided to bite it. Of course, the bite wasn't well received by the preceding camel and although I don't speak camel or Arabic, I swear it said: "I WILL KILL YOU, YOU BITCH!!!" It sure sounded like that. Then we had to separate.
      Imagine, you're in the middle of a desert, it's your first time on a camel, 75 % of words coming out of your tour guide's mouth are in Arabic and the 15 % of the English ones don't make sense - would you feel at ease sitting on a thing with a mind of its own that could now run loose? Not likely. Especially since within the first hour MY camel already threw a fit, and we had 5 hours more to go. But it didn't end with the biting incident.
      Soon after we separated, MY camel decided to stop. I tried all of the tricks that supposedly should make the damn heap of fur and fat move, but nothing worked. Instead, it lied down. You have to hold on tightly not to fall while they do that and there's still a chance you'll get thrown off, now think about that happening without you expecting it. But I stayed on. Which the camel didn't want or expect so it jerked and tilted to the left and I finally flew off. If that happened now, I'd get up, dusted off the sand, walk over to our guide and say: "I know you probably won't understand this, but fuck you and your camel, I'm going back now. By foot." But that was then and not now, so I went back on the crazy, biting, stubborn animal, which obviously didn't want me anywhere near its hump.
      By the end of the trip, MY camel tried to bite all of the other camels at least one more time each, it threw me off again, it never went where everyone else went or I wanted it to go and it never walked in a straight line but swerved like a frigging border collie competing at an agility championship. And what's more, the stupid saddle wasn't padded enough or was too old or the design itself was flawed from the get go (the initial flaw being putting the saddle on a damn camel), so my damn ass hurt every damn step that damn camel took. Damn.
      When the tour was drawing to a close and I finally saw our camp from afar, MY camel decided to turn 90 degrees to the left and didn't want to stop walking. I went crazy, completely crazy. I was calm the entire day and didn't want to complain, but then I just lost it. I started screaming (cursing) and kicking and tugging on the ropes and I heard my brother and his wife laughing in the distance. "Fuck! Fuck!! Fuck you, you stupid camel!!! Throw me off now, THROW ME OFF NOW!!!" Of course it didn't want to throw me off, it just kept on walking until it reached a 3-meter (10-feet) rock and had to stop.
      When I got back to the camp (on foot), I had to go check my behind, because it just hurt too much. It turned out that I had a cut, an actual bloody wound 10 centimeters (4 inches) long in-between my butt cheeks from the saddle and the rough ride. When we left the next day, I didn't want to say goodbye to my camel, I didn't want to take a picture with it, I didn't want to know its name, nothing. I just wanted the damn thing to return to hell where it came from.


I'm wearing:
Leggings: eBay
Sweater: Newyorker
Sunglasses: H&M
Sneakers: Lonsdale

      You're welcome to follow FPS via Twitter and feel free to share the post if you feel my pain. There are new posts coming up every Monday, Wednesday and Friday so hopefully you'll be back on Wednesday!

      Peet

44 comments:

  1. Oh my word, that camel sounds evil! Aha, glad you survived at least.
    Love your snakeskin print leggings!

    Trendy Teal

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  2. sorry- i shouldn't laugh but I did! i am not into camels at all. always refused to go on one bc most seem like the one you were on! But how are you like with horses? :)

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    1. I have no problems with horses actually. I adore them. There's a horse farm near where I live and I "adopted" one, her name is Minka and she's gorgeous. I always bring her carrots and stuff.:) She doesn't seem mean at all, very lovable and pettable.

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  3. Oh girl, not a happy story! I don't think I will want to try that now! I have some friend that didn´t like to walk on camels too! lolol
    By the way, love your sweater! ;)

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  4. I'm really sorry that happened to you but the way you wrote it...I laughed so hard :) That was some mean camel!
    I don't like cats either, they scare me too...Btw,your sweater is amazing,love the color!
    xx

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  5. Lol I'm sorry for your camel problems :( I still want to ride one though... I'm a hard learner.. BUT I will say that I never want a cat near me. Other people can have them and be weird about them, and I don't want to see them out in the rain or abused or without food. That said, I don't want one near me. I'll just look at them from far away and SOMETIMES say they're cute.

    xo Ashley
    thetiniestfirecracker.com

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  6. awww so cute sweater, co adorable:) i love animals too, especially dogs, but i'm afraid of cats too ;)

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  7. Holy s*** that's awful! I've never had beef with camels but after that experience I feel your pain. And cats, I don't hate them either but I have been scratched on my chest by one before and yep, them claws are bloody sharp and painful. I also dislike the way they taunt my little pooch and have street fights down the side of our neighbors house which is also directly below my window. Those wails are not welcome at 3am. Ever.

    SDMxx
    www.daringcoco.com

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  8. your outfit posts are so interesting and unique love your pics!! the green sweater is just lovely. also I really like the aviators! I assume you are going into fall and winter now? xx. gigi. www.gigikkitchen.blogspot.com

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  9. So cool. Funny story.
    http://halielandry.blogspot.com/

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  10. omg..you're funny!!!
    i am not afraid of cats...but i hate them:)
    love the outfit!
    xoxo

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  11. Haha I don't trust these bitches AT ALL ! It sounds pretty exptic to ride them when you are in Egypt too but first of all, just the smell is too much for me !
    Anyway, biting-ass camel is a new one !

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  12. Love sweaters like that! So comfy and cozy!

    xx Oksana
    www.makeupbyoksana.blogspot.com

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  13. I completely sympathise with your camel incident... I grew up riding horses periodically which, in my adult life, somehow made me an experienced rider :P Not really the case, obviously, I have simply been on horses more than most other people. My office had the brilliant idea to do a horseback riding excursion - what a way to get people to bond, make them do something their all scared of! - and I was the only one who had ever done it before, so naturally, I got the willful, skittish horse. We were barely out of the barn when some horse nearby did something imperceptible that scared my horse, leading him to try to throw me. Enter bruised tailbone... and the ride hadn't even begun. For the rest of the two hour long ride, any time any of the other horses did something mine didn't like, it tried to throw me. Needless to say, I became an experienced rider that day... and I've never been on a horse since :P On a fashion-related note, I love the colour of your sweater :)
    xox,
    Cee

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  14. ooops! You see I'd love to ride on a camel, not sure why.....but it's just one of those unique and random things I think people should do before they pop their clogs. Interestingly enough, your story has not put me off! In fact it may me giggle (sorry) and more determined to see if I could do any better! I'll let you know if and when it happens!

    http://forcailini.blogspot.com

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  15. I love the color of your sweater! Xo

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  16. I totally love your style! Thanks again for your sweet comments! I love to read them!!! Love, Kyra
    BLOGPOST: AT THE HÉRMES „FESTIVAL DES MÉTIERS“

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  17. really love your sweater ! great post :) follow you now on bloglovin, maybe you can do the same?
    have a great day <3
    xo
    http://beauty-lifestyle-fashion-blog.blogspot.de/

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  18. that sweater looks so comfy and cute! and I love its color!
    muah*
    mariana

    http://asouthbreeze.blogspot.pt/

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  19. you have such a unique style .
    nice!!

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  20. Really lovely outfit, the jumper colour is great!

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  21. Bahahaha... Sounds like you got the crankiest camel out there! Sorry the trip wasn't as idyllic as you hoped ;) Loving your outfit here- that sweater looks so cozy and the colour is great! xo

    -Jen

    www.vibrantbeautyblog.com

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  22. I once asked for and got a stroke with a camel whip from a girlfriend. Wow, that was intense white hot stinging pain!
    I wonder if that's what it takes to get a camel's attention or whether there's some secret to getting them to be more amiable.
    I'm sorry to read that the combination of the hard saddle and bad natured camel's activity made for such a pain in your ass.
    I hope you healed up well. I would not be at all interested in a camel ride.

    http://www.full-brief-panties.blogspot.com/

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    1. A camel whip??? If she was as mad as I was at that camel, I sure it hurt like hell.:D

      Thanks for caring about my ass.;) It actually healed up completely in no time.:)

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  23. I litarally laughed out loud at my internship reading this post. I thought it the cat thing was a bit funny seen as my cat would totally scare every sane person and bites me like I'm a litlle tasty snack. Then the whole camel story just teared me up! Love it hilarious :D

    xx

    liquoriceandpumps.blogspot.com

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    1. I'm glad my pain and suffering brings joy to others.:D

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  24. sweater is perfect <3
    love this style

    www.classicorcool.com

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  25. I liked your nail colour!
    Thank you so much for taking time and stopping by my blog!
    x
    Stella from a A Shiny Place

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  26. Thank you so much for your lovely comment about my illustrations, that means a lot to me.
    You look absolutely stunning and I Love your blog too.

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  27. That camel story is priceless!! Heehee....And loving those awesome leggings:D

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  28. Oh.. So sad! Hope your dog's cornea is better now...
    And its really really sad on what happened to you with the camel!!!
    Anyways, love that mint green pullover!!!
    FASHION PANACHE BLOG
    Google Plus | Bloglovin | Networked Blogs | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest

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  29. love the mint sweater! fabulous!!

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  30. You look great! I like your sweater. I'm sorry that happened to you..

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  31. Great post! I'm your new follower! :) I hope you visit my blog sometimes. Thanks! Kisses from VV!!

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    1. I always do, babe. Looking forward to seeing yours!;)

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  32. You look great dear. loved the colour of your nails. The match with the blouse. So bright

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  33. Hello my dear ! yes my family live in cannes and i grow up there :)

    Http://Fashioneiric.blogspot.com

    Coline ♡

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    1. You grew up in Cannes?? You lucky girl!!;)

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  34. Like for tattoo and mint sweater!

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  35. love the color of your sweater!
    you look really great!
    thanks for your lovely comment!

    :)
    http://talkingaboutf.blogspot.gr/

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  36. love the leggins!
    Would you like to follow each other via gfc or bloglovin? Let me know! :)

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