At first I wanted to call this post How Do You Know You've Been Together for Too Long but that would be depressing and would imply that all relationships are doomed to end bitterly, which isn't necessarily true. But the fact is that any given relationship goes from the initial fireworks and lovey-dovey period to I-want-to-kill-you-in-your-sleep period, that's just the natural progression of things. No need to worry though, because if you survive the latter, your relationship grows and with time hot, crazy, passionate sex is replaced with other, better, deeper, more meaningful things - and as soon as I figure out which those are, I'm going to share them with you, but for now, let's get on with the quiz.
How Do You Know the Lovey Dovey Period Is Over Quiz
Read the following examples (which may or may not be based on actual events from real life) and think if that ever happened to you: Answer truthfully with YES or NO. At the end, count your yeses and see if you can count your blessings too or if you're just doomed.
- You're sitting on his lap, you're face to face, kissing, when he suddenly tilts slightly and - farts.
- You stopped having sex in the car because you don't want to mess up the car.
- The phrase "You're so dirty!" isn't followed by "Let's fuck!" but with "Don't you think it's time to change that shirt?"
- You're walking around the apartment only in a g-string and instead of taking the thong off, he says: "Put some clothes on, neighbors will see you!"
- You're kissing on the couch, watching a movie on the TV and then you stop kissing because: "The commercials are over, move, I can't see the TV."
- You stopped taking showers together because it's just too crowded.
- He comes over and first gets on his knees to pet the dog, he asks the dog what did he do today and gives the dog a treat he went and bought specifically for him. All you get is: "Hi."
- When he's giving you oral pleasure, your phone rings and you HAVE TO check who's texting you.
- You go to sex shops only to pick up gifts for your friends' birthdays and not stuff for you two anymore.
- When you're topless, he plays the accordion on your ribcage and not with your boobs.
1-3 yeses: There's still lovey in your relationship, but all the doveys have definitely flown away. Occasionally you still make your friends sick with your public expressions of affection, so enjoy while you still can.
4-7 yeses: You're neither here nor there, you're stuck in the middle. Even though the middle is supposed to be the happy one, this is not the case. You should definitely start thinking about investing in a good vibrator.
8-10 yeses: I'm sorry, but there's more romance between Marge and Homer Simpson than between you and your partner. There's a better chance of Rosie O'Donnell shooting a pictorial for FHM than you getting laid tonight.
|Skirt - eBay, blazer - eBay, top - H&M, belt - Bershka, heels - Pittarello, rings - H&M|
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