Oct 4, 2013

Why I Wish I Were a Man


      Today I had some slight issues with fog brain (or is it brain fog?) and I couldn't get my mind to work properly. I complained to my friend about it saying that all I wanted to do is snuggle with my main squeeze (the dog, who else) on the couch, watch something stupid and have a drink but instead I still had to get a post together because I had nothing prepared to what he said I should just drink a bottle and write something. Erm... Ok. Apparently grape juices have some magical effect on creative juices, even though I haven't finished my bottle yet, because I managed to remember I had some leftover ideas from when I wrote this post on having a penis and I made them into this: A list of reasons why I wish I were a man (because having a penis isn't the same as being a man, you know, a penis does not a man make, no, besides, I did promise here, I'd write one). And I do, sometimes I really do want to be a man, but not often, because I love all my womanly bits and all other womanly bits in general. Did that sound weird? If this or anything else sounds weird, blame it on my friend, I had nothing to do with any of this. Ok, with some I did... Moving on. The list!
  1. Not just that facial hair is über cool and stylish, it also has super powers - you can hide stuff in there or save some food in it for later or simply cover some skin issues (such as acne) with it.
  2. The Holy Threesome or the Three Nos - no need for hair removal, no need for heels, no need for g-strings.
  3. Grey hair on a man is charming. Fuck men.
  4. Men can take Viagra, but there's no magic pill for women (because we're not that easy, luckily/unfortunately).
  5. Men supposedly have lower pain threshold meaning they can endure more pain and suffering. As if that in itself isn't great enough and whether that's true or not, they don't have to deal with menstrual cramps, sensitive breasts before period, hair removal and labor pain anyway (but they still want us to believe they're butch).
  6. Speaking of labor pain, when they get a child, they a) don't have to deal with any physical torment and b) can go out and get shitfaced.
  7. Speaking of shitfaced, men can drink more alcohol (when they get a baby and otherwise). Yes, in my alcohol-loving head that's a plus, deal with it.
  8. Men don't have to take contraception pills. They could use condoms, but they complain about a condom killing all the fun and preventing them from feeling enough pleasure - mind you, they are sensitive sissies and the condom is about 0.019 mm to 0.07 mm thick (just for comparison, a human hair is about 0.04 to 0.25 mm thick, I googled it) so yes, the condom kills all the fun, let women binge on hormones and get fat and moody and suffer from migraines just so men don't have to wear condoms, them poor things. Fuck men. With condoms!
  9. If you are a man, your biological clock isn't half as harsh on you as if you have a vagina - those spermies shooting out of your phallus don't go stale till you're dead or too wise to want kids anyways.
  10. Statistically speaking, I'd make more money than my female colleagues for doing exactly the same thing or even doing less - just because I'm a man, for no other reason. Fuck men.
      In case you're still not convinced the grass on the men's side of the fence is in fact greener and more cushiony and has more 4-leaf clovers, then check the pictures in this post: CLICK. If Gerard Depardieu can get laid, but Sophia Loren has to get bazillion plastic surgeries, then there really is something to being a man or at least society is siding with the xy bunch. Fuck men.
 


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      Peet

32 comments:

  1. I looooove this photos shoot - your man eyes really pop!

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  2. Lol, I like your mustache. You're a crazy person, but I love it. The most important thing about this is the contraception bit. What do you mean you don't want to wear a condom? Well, then I don't want to have sex. Where's the vibrating boyfriend? Amiright?!

    xo Ashley
    thetiniestfirecracker.com

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    Replies
    1. MY boyfriend says I'm as crazy as they come.:) As for the condom issue... I have an IUD and a steady bf for 7 years so there really is no need for a condom. But I do occasionally enjoy a vibrating affair.:)

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  3. Hahaha... I am 100% convenced with your argunent, fuck men..
    Yoyr pics and post are just the best..
    Keep in touch,
    www.beingbeautifulandpretty.com

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  4. Love the androgynous look - it suits you. I was donning a tie just the other day! hhhhm I agree with some of your points but not all. Facial hair is not uber cool and stylish, trust me I am talking from personal experience. The good thing for a man I guess is that they can shave theirs, but I aint putting no shaver on my face!!

    forcailini.blogspot.com

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  5. Great post! You make a lovely man!

    Monica, www.pear-shaped-gal.com

    PS: OMG, what happened to Val Kilmer .. bleck.

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  6. the only reason why i wish i were a men is because i could pee standing .... Fuck men!!!
    xoxo

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  7. I still want to be a girl!
    muah*
    mariana

    http://asouthbreeze.blogspot.pt/

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  8. You make a fit boi, I would.

    You're kind of like Jenna Marbles of the blogging world. Did you know that? Have you seen her when she dresses up as a boy? I'd tap that, too.

    Corinne x
    www.skinnedcartree.com

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    Replies
    1. Well... Thanks!:D That's a pretty huge compliment coming from you, I know you're a fan of hers. And especially thanks for saying you'd tap me, my confidence has skyrocketed!:D

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  9. Brain fog, foggy brain, brain farts, old fogeydom - I've had them all and can relate (I hope that's not disconcerting). I have to admit you point out some unfortunately accurate examples of societal gender bias in favour of men. The "distinguished" look of grey hair is one, though I think grey hair amongst women as distinguished has been gaining favour too late. I've never had Viagra or had children either but I just learned something. Are you sure? Could I still have a chance at having children (and then croak so I don't have to deal with the little brats). It's true men can drink more due to their body weight. They can also act more stupid after drinking more. Hair is a pain in the butt. I'd love to have all the hair that's not on my head removed. I wonder what that costs? I've heard men say using a condom is like taking a shower with a raincoat on. Using a condom is smart. Unfortunately that probably means there are more accidental pregnancies involving men who were not smart. The de-evolution begins! There are millenniums of misogynistic gender discrimination that need to be changed and the battle is going to be difficult. I thought about becoming a woman - unfortunately then I'd have to deal with men more. Ugh. What a choice: Deal with them or be one of them. Why society continues to overvalue the defective (Y) chromosome I don't understand. It defies logic and, to me, is indicative of a lemming-like characteristic of our species.
    P.S.: You look better as a man than most men do.

    http://www.full-brief-panties.blogspot.com/

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  10. Wow, your eyes!! In fact men have it easier when it comes to most of the things but I couldn´t do like being a cool guy all the time while all I want to do is talk about my feelings xD Also I totally enjoy being a girly girl and when it comes to fashion we´re just really lucky even if looking good can be a hard job ;)
    xx

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  11. you would look good as a man too!

    http://prettynyummy.blogspot.gr/

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  12. You look good with a mustache :)

    http://petitemaisonoffashion.blogspot.com/

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  13. I almost hate to say this but you make a very attractive man. And in some ways men have it easier, and I would agree with all the things above, but it doesn't make me want to be a woman any less. Yeah, I have to bleed out of my vagina for a week every month, but I get to wear dresses without weird looks :)

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  14. Great photos, I liked you how you did the mustache ... :)

    http://www.fashionlurve.com

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  15. Ahah Peet, you are one of the best, seriously! Always enjoy reading you, 100% agreed with everything you listed, which I often ask to muself!:D And dear, you looking hot in the photos, just love how you put the make up! Happy Sunday, hugs! xo

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  16. You are a ggod boy boy)
    Peet, i nominated you on The Versatile blogger award and check in in my blog at 07.10.2013 )

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  17. Omg!!! You look so fly. Your makeup is perfect. Great post sweetie.

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  18. You make one good-looking guy (in a slightly vaguely-connected-to-the-mafia kind of way)
    And yes. Being a man would be easy and generally I agree with pretty much everything on the list EXCEPT the high heels thing. I mean come on, any average chica can throw on a pair and get a shapelier butt and legs AND get 6 inches taller!

    Hayfa
    londonloafers.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. Mafia? Really?? Cool.:) My mom said I look like Johnny Depp.:D

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  19. Fuck men! With condoms!! hahahaha duuude I think the same really. Why men have all the fun? Not to mention being able to walk alone in the streets at night and not feeling afraid of beign raped or something. Or having to hear all those verbal abuse in the streets since they are 12. At least those things happen quite a lot in my country. The world is more dangerous for women.

    xoxo from Bangkok,
    Gabi Barbará
    Barbaridades!

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  20. haha, I think you do have this Latino man thing going on here. maybe it's the way you stare here, I don't know but it's just there. gosh and pretty much everything you pointed out actually sounds like the truth! :D and men still whine about things.. they should think about how things would be if they were women! I definitely think they could not handle it :) well but at least my man can build things. pretty much everything actually. and when it comes to men I find a real man should know how to build things ;)

    Maiken,
    Maikeni blogi - part of me

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  21. haha i love this post!! everything is so true!

    katslovefashion.blogspot.com

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  22. You look so cute! Really suave styling! I have to agree on every single point with you. Its so unfair, men can gat away with not shaving or dying their hair or wearing the exact same clothes all time regardless of season or trends. They look better as they get older, and women somehow don't (sorry ladies). They can have kids even when they are already grandfathers!! They get so miserably sick just when they have a flu, can you imagine what they would do if they even had a menstrual cramp not to even mention labour pains! And you're so right about the pill, it does all sorts of terrible things to women's weight and hormones and men don't have to take a thing. Very unfair. Thanks for all your great feedback. Still shocked over the Rihanna thing, especially here new video, omg, I think she missed her true calling. I actually learnt that Paris is called the City of Lights or City of Blinding Lights from the U2 song of the same name, have you heard it? I hope you have a fantastic week ahead darling.

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    1. "I think Rihanna missed her true calling." That's hilarious.:D And I knoooow, men are such frigging sissies when it comes to something as innocent as a cold - my bf is DYING whenever he starts sneezing.:)

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  23. hey darling! thank you so much for your comment! you're so sweet!
    muah*
    mariana

    http://asouthbreeze.blogspot.pt/

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  24. Sigh, guys def have it more easy. Whats the bet my ex is out there right now shagging everyone possible to get over me while im crying and eating chocolate lol Fuck men! :P x

    www.hausofsarahrachel.blogspot.com

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  25. Hi Hi Hi!!!
    I hope you missed me a little ... I missed a lot your posts =). After a while,I've managed to relax enough to go back to this. And the first thing I find is " Why I like to be a man." Seriously, you never dissapoint me.

    But there I disagree with some things. Facial hair is not cool ... It can occasionally may be smart , but certainly not cool . It is a nasty substance accumulation and also scrapes! And hair removal... I think once you have a partner it`s something relative ... XD for me at least is only an option that I choose few times (and almost never in winter). Men bear more pain than women?? Where did u find it?? It's like a joke. My boyfriend cuts a little on his finger and comes to me crying , while I have to endure my ovaries when they want to leave my body and go to school , make meal, homework , clean, make dinner, etc. etc etc
    Well, is true that gray hair is proportional to the degree of attraction we feel for them ( to the threshold of 60 when they suddenly are dirty old men). Oh my god ... and those photos ? ? Have you seen Val Kilmer ? ? What kind of jim morrison is it? My life crumbling . And Jack Nicholson 's tits ? Ouhhhhgg .

    XXX
    http://muerdelaespina.blogspot.com.es

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    1. I thought that women are more accustomed to pain too but because of our social views, men aren't supposed to show that they're in pain because that's not masculine, so they got "trained" over the centuries to withstand more pain. That's the theory which in my opinion is complete bullshit. Besides, nowadays men are more and more "allowed" to show signs of weakness and women want to be seen as stronger and more independent so I think that theory's gonna change (back to normal:))

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