Nov 4, 2013

Bug Out Over a Bug-Out


      Last night, my boyfriend came over. All three of us (he, I and the dog, of course) watched some TV and then we were ready to go to bed. This process usually isn't eventful but yesterday it turned out to be pretty amusing.
      I took the dog out for his 6th and final whiz for the day (senior dog bladder issues) and then came back, locked the door and went to my bedroom. In an attempt to change into my PJs, I took off my sweatpants and my underwear when all of a sudden my boyfriend started squirming around the room.
      "What's with you?"
      "Joe's in the room!"
      "What Joe?! Where?!"
      "There!" he said pointing at my desk. I leaned over it bottomless to see what the fuck was going on and there I saw a tiny brown bug crawling across the laptop.
      "This is Joe, I presume?"
      "Yes. Get him out. Please." Still squirming.
      "Can't you do it?"
      "No! Bugs freak me out!"
      "Oh, come on! I'll open the window and you just escort Joe out." At that point I did exactly that - I opened the window as he grabbed the laptop, thrust it towards the open window and said:
      "Now what? Should I throw the laptop out?" I think hope he was joking...
      "No, just shake Joe off!"
      He started to shake the laptop and blow on the poor Joe who I'm sure had other plans for the evening than to be shaken and blown on by some dude. After a few seconds of shaking, Joe fell off the computer and on the ground - of my bedroom.
      "No, he fell off, he's still here!!" my boyfriend said.
      "What happened?!" I couldn't exactly see because I was hiding behind the curtain, since I was half naked.
      "I blew on him and he didn't want to go away." Then he started blowing in my face: "See, you didn't go away either."
      "What?! Just move, I'll get him out." I picked up a piece of paper to scoop up the damn Joe and got on my bare knees to find him. Of course Joe ran for cover and hid on the far outskirts of my room under the desk so I had to go on all four.
      "Just so you know, the dog's behind you."
      I completely forgot about the dog who was very intrigued about all of the commotion and wanted to see what was up. I quickly turned around and pushed him away - the dog, not the boyfriend - and slapped him on his thigh - the boyfriend, not the dog.
      "That's not even remotely funny."
      "Yes, it is. If the dog licked your ass, I'd piss myself."
      "Just hold the dog as I save your sissy ass from the fucking bug!" And then I picked up Joe with the paper and threw him out the window.
      "Ok, I'm gonna leave now and sleep at my place tonight."
      "What? Why?"
      "There's Joanna in the room too."
      "You're kidding..." But he wasn't. There she was, Mrs Joe Brownbug, scared shitless for her life and clinging to the top of the curtain. "Well, fuck me."
      I dealt with the Joanna situation as well and successfully completed the bug-out mission like a bunch of other rescue missions before this one - with little help from my boyfriend. That's why I looked at him with scorn and said:
      "Now can I finish putting my pajamas on?"
      "Yes... I'm sorry, but I just really really don't like bugs."
      "No shit, I didn't notice."


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      Peet

31 comments:

  1. It seems like there's never a dull moment in your life, the way you tell it :) I always laugh when I read your posts.
    xox,
    Cee

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  2. such a nice pics dear <3

    http://mastylee.blogspot.com/

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  3. I think Joe made your night quite eventful.. Hehehe
    Keep in touch,
    www.beingbeautifulandpretty.com

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  4. Personally, I would have been sweating above that candle and also I like that you name insects!

    http://petitemaisonoffashion.blogspot.com/

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  5. The candle light pictures are so gorgeous!

    I hate bugs too, but only freak out at spiders.

    Monica, www.pear-shaped-gal.com

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  6. Ha! Your stories always crack me up. These photos are killer- loving the vibrant lipstick! xo

    -Jen

    www.vibrantbeautyblog.com

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  7. haha what a pussy! Guess I'll have to be the brave bug remover now....unless you wanna come help? :P xx

    www.hausofsarahrachel.blogspot.com

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  8. Bahahaha I wish I could say I'd been braver but no. Especially if Joe turned out to be a damn spider, then shit got real scary!

    Hope you have the most amazing week gorgeous,
    SDMxx
    www.daringcoco.com

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  9. Hahahahaha, you kill me laughing Peet, seriously, its not just the stories but its your excellent wit and narration that really does it. Please buy him some bug spray for his next birthday, or sooner perhaps. I have to admit I turn into very much a girl when I see scary looking blood sucking bugs too. Awesome photos.

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  10. Ahah I get him sooo well since I fear bugs too! You are brave Peet, I need you over my place too since where I live cockroaches are very common and is easy they enter in the houses! I cant imagine if your boyfriend see them!:P But you made me so laugh imagining the scene! You look gorgeous dear, these photos are breathtaking! Have a good evening, kisses! xo

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  11. That is so funny! I hate it when guys are so scared of something that their girlfriends have to take care of the situation. My boyfriend is SUPER scared of the dark, and so if we're alone somewhere and it's dark I have to be the one looking for stuff. I hate it!

    I was on your blog yesterday and read some of your posts on the train, but for some reason my phone wouldn't let me comment on blogs... weird!

    Is that a new tattoo?? I don't think I've ever seen that one! I have a loooot of catching up here!

    xx

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  12. thnaks for yuor commetn, great idea yur photo, i follow yuo now, if yuo like my blog follow me too :)

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  13. The majority of bugs I can deal with, but spiders, OMG.....if I'm on my own and I see one I could probably sprint on par with Usain Bolt, probably quicker than that if I had no bottoms or underwear on in fear that it would crawl up my.......eeew just nearly threw up in my mouth thinking about it.

    Love these photos babe

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  14. love the last one pic...gorgeous!
    kisses x

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  15. Awesome, great blog darling!
    SSSx
    www.stylestreetstalker.com

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  16. Such an inspirational post! I enjoyed reading it :) I love your blog, too!
    Would you like to follow each other via GFC and Bloglovin? If you would, just follow me and leave a comment on my blog, so that I can follow you back :)

    Tina from the Style Sinners
    Twitter - @TinaStefanovic
    Instagram - @tina_stefanovic
    http://tinasstylesinners.blogspot.com/

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  17. Your blog is basically the highlight of my day, love this.

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  18. Oh goshhhhhhh!! i hateeeeee bugs or anything crawling...some bee came into my place and i was so scared i couldnt move and i had to get my hubby to get rid of it outta the house...so damn paranoid lol...!! i know what you mean though...while chanigng hahahaha!! damnnn :D thanks for ur visit hun! new post is up :D
    Blog - www.fashionistaera.blogspot.com
    Youtube -www.youtube.com/user/fashionistaera

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  19. Your boyfriend needs some balls it sounds like! Eric won't kill bugs but he'll put them outside :) P.s. looking AMAZING as always.

    xo Ashley
    thetiniestfirecracker.com

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  20. I love that you wanted to escort Joe out. You're more polite than I am ;)

    -Fifi Phi

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  21. Haha, oh wow, always a girl to the rescue, huh? That's too funny though, I was giggling throughout! :)
    Love that last shot, very smoldering! ;)

    The Dragonfruit Diaries

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  22. well, that was the coolest story ever! I read it like it was one of the greatest books :D luckily my fiance isn't scared of bugs and I'm not scared of them either (but I tend to kill those poor little guys when I see them around my house.. not butterflies of course). but my mom hates spiders and screams every time she sees one, haha. anyway, I'm going to read the post about your doggie now :)

    Maiken,
    Maikeni blogi - part of me

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  23. Thanks for stopping by sweetheart :)

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  24. ahahah what a night! I just can't stop laughing right now!
    muah*
    mariana

    http://asouthbreeze.blogspot.pt/

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  25. Wow! What can I say? ... intimidates me! Love it!
    Great post! I congratulate the ability and talent to curiosity to me!
    I will always be coming back for more: *


    Regards,
    Katherine Unique


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  26. Hahaha... the bug search! So funny!

    http://naomemandeflores.com/en

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  27. nice pics !
    i'm back :) Milca
    new post
    http://milcaway.blogspot.it/2013/11/a-new-beginning.html

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  28. Ha ! They all suck at protecting us ! Several times I asked him to help me against bugs or animals and he was jumping like a girl. I was like "ha, nevermind" =P

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  29. These photos are sooooo wonderful =)

    My boyfriend is like yours. She hates cockroaches, he has a big fear, nausea... i don't know. And he doesn`t like mice either.
    Once I found him on a chair screaming and pointing the finger at the smallest mouse i've ever seen ...
    I dont`know what are we going to do if we find some worse and bigger bug XD

    XXX
    http://muerdelaespina.blogspot.com.es

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