As you might know or remember, I live in an apartment building and I already introduced some of my neighbors in this post here, but today I have to mention another lovely family. They live a floor or two above my apartment and have three precious and damn cool children who're always asking me about my tattoos, my dog, my nail polish or whatever. They can also be pretty loud, especially bright and early in the morning. Like today, for example.
While I and my boyfriend were still in bed, bundled up, happy to have a late morning, we suddenly heard some noise - it was someone singing. Loudly. Very loudly. Very VERY loudly.
"NI-NI-NI-NAAAAANIIIII, WE HAVE A BUUUUNYYYYY!!!!!!! DI-GI-DI-GI-DIIIIIIIGIIIIII, WE HAVE A PIIIIIIGYYYYYY!!!!!!"
I opened my eyes and just stared at the ceiling for a second completely bewildered. Who has a bunny?? What bunny?! What?! So I stood up and walked over to the door to look through the peephole and I saw the adorable little girl from upstairs all decked out pink (what else) carelessly screaming away. Her mom stood at the top of the stairs desperately trying to shush her which was of course all in vain. Then the girl's older brother walked past mom as she ran back to their apartment, I presume to get the third kid (or maybe she contemplated hiding in the apartment, locking the door and saving herself, who knows), as the boy started singing too.
"Ni-ni-ni-nani, we have a bunny, di-gi-di-gi-digi, we have a piggy..." He was obviously still under the shush influence because you could barely hear him. But then... "One of them is missing AND ONE OF THEM IS PISSING!!!!" Wait a minute, I don't remember this version, they didn't taught us anything about pissing when I was in kindergarten! Aside from pissing, he attributed his solo with a grandiose performance of air drums - if you didn't hear him sing, it looked like an epileptic attack, he was really going at it.
By the time the boy got out of the building, the girl was already by our open bedroom window still screaming about the bunny and the piggy like she was at a PG-13 version of a Korn concert, so I walked back to my room where my boyfriend was already staring at the ceiling and said to him:
"How about that - surround sound." He wasn't too amused.
To be honest, I actually didn't mind the wake-up call today, because I had a shit-load of things to do like getting some work done, putting together this post and going swimming, which is one of my favorite errands. Why is swimming my favorite? Because it's a means of catharsis for me - no noise, no computers, just water and my thoughts - AND little kids learning how to dive. I love watching those rambunctious monsters belly-flopping like idiots, it just warms my heart. Unfortunately, today there were none, but fortunately something else made my visit even more pleasurable.
Since I've recently fried my hair (going from black to blond really wasn't a walk in the park), I decided to spare my locks the chlorine treatment so I asked my brother if he could lend me one of his swimming caps. Much to my delight, he GAVE me his Ironman cap. In case you don't know, an Ironman is just this triathlon where you have to swim for 2.4 miles/4 kilometers, bike for 112 miles/180 kilometers and run a marathon (26.2 miles/42 kilometers) and if you survive, you get a t-shirt and a swimming cap. And now I have one, ha! Now I only have to steal his Mensa shirt somehow... But for now I'm happy with the Ironman cap.
Since I got the cap about a week ago, I couldn't wait to debut it. But before I took it for a
spin swim myself, I HAD TO make my boyfriend try it on... Do you know how cute acorns are with their little wooden 'hats' all round and adorable? Well, this wasn't anything like that. I almost peed myself, I swear his eyes bulged out when he finally managed to put it on, the cap was that tight. Although watching my boyfriend squeezing his big giant head into the tiny cap was highly amusing, it made me realize it's going to be a bitch for me to...
So when I was finally at the swimming pool today, I went into the restroom (I don't know why I thought a mirror would help) and thought:
"I have my swimming cap - sweet. I have my IRONMAN swimming cap - even sweeter! Now I have to put the cap ON. Sweet..."
After 3 to 7 minutes I was eventually done. As I was standing there with Ironman shrink wrap on my head feeling like a giant penis, one thing became painfully clear: Now I know why dicks are bald - so they can wear condoms.
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