Dec 25, 2013

Ho Ho Ho!

For Peet's Sake blog

      So. It's Christmas today. Whoopee, right? Correct me if I'm wrong but you got bubkis from Santa because you did all sorts of stupid, crazy shit this past year, right? I thought so. But fret not, my little one, I've got you covered, I have a little something something for you, a little present ... Look behind you ... It's a ... IT'S A PONY!!! No, sorry, it's just my post. But it's a tad different kind of post because I didn't write it per se. But first things first...
      If you have a blog or any kind of site, you can install Google Analytics to monitor your traffic (traffic = people that click on your site) and other unimportant stuff, one of them being traffic sources (traffic sources = how those people found your site) which is one of my favorite features because it features keywords - the words people typed into a search engine (for example Google) which led them to your site. Sounds boring? Well, the theory might, but the reality isn't and since it's Christmas I decided to share the joy I get from browsing through these keywords with you.
      This post is extra special for several reasons. First off, I finally have an opportunity to post something fucked up which you can't judge me for because - I didn't write this stuff, I didn't come up with it, you did, you out there. Secondly, you can get a rare and oh so interesting insight into the human psyche and if you have children or little siblings you might end up locking them away because the world is full of lunatic perverts. Besides, some of them aren't that bright. And I don't know which combination's worse - a crazy perv or a stupid perv. Or just a stupid. Anyway, here's the list of my organic traffic keywords and this is just the first half, I'll post the other half before the end of this year. The words in italics (this is italics, the words that lean to the right) are my comments, because some of them were just too good for me not to respond.

  • making a wish on a penis and it will come          No, BLOWING on a penis and it will come.
  • for Pete's sake hurry up          My thoughts exactly.
  • dog licking pussy          Perv.
  • how to get rid of a woman          That's easy - like so.
  • why is my dog farting so much          Why don't you tell my why is MY dog farting so much.
  • how to stop dog farts          That's easy - like so.
  • dog
  • how to look good while skiing          That's easy - like so.
  • sake porn
  • dog farts smell          And yours don't?
  • hamburger ass          Thanks a lot...
  • how to get rid of the thought of a girl          Ooo, now I feel bad...
  • how to smuggle alcohol          That's easy - like so.
  • I don't want to eat anymore
  • my dog farts a lot          Join the club.
  • wish I had a penis          Me too!
  • www porn
  • 2 months growing shaving hair          Wait. What?
  • bloglovin penis           I'm blogging and loving me some penis too!
  • Ariel red hair dye          I'm sure Ariel red's an actual term, yes.
  • Do girls look better snowboarding or skiing?
  • dog smells like rotten eggs          Hey, that's not nice!
  • dog won't stop farting
  • how do you get rid of a girl
  • how to get famous fast and easy      That's easy - like so.
  • how to get rid of a girl nicely          Oh, you're nice one, huh?
  • how to get rid of a girl that likes me          You don't. Stupid.
  • how to look like a streetwalker
  • how to make your dog stop farting
  • how make dog fart smell pretty          The same way you do yours - you don't.
  • numb dick undies for hair removal          Come again?
  • puppy farts stink          Wait till the puppy grows up.
  • Serbian          No, Slovenian, but you were close.
  • "skiing" + "sore bottom"          = "no fun"
  • "red shoes" naughty          And "black shoes" slutty?
  • admit you want to such dick          Yes, Google, admit you want to suck a dick!!
  • allergies to touching live snails
  • am dark n i want to have a bright colour what do i do?
  • animal porn blog
  • animals doing porn
  • balding men with long hair
  • best way to ditch a girl
  • bitch belly button          Yeah, that belly button's a bitch.
  • penis
  • bowtie nude          No, bowtie dressed, sorry.
  • boobs sake          No, FOR PEET'S Sake, but you were close.
  • bright red pubes          What about them?
  • can cotton candy make you sick
  • butt cheeks hamburger          Again with the hamburger ass??
  • how to look hot on the ski slopes
  • can a hair dresser dye my hair bright red          That's kind of their job, yes. Besides, Google can't exactly see you, so it doesn't know what color your hair is, but I'm sure you'll manage to find a nice husband and breed eventually and give the world plenty of Darwin Awards candidates so kudos to you.
For Peet's Sake blog
For Peet's Sake blog
For Peet's Sake blog light hearts

       P.S.: Please, don't think I'm this big mushy dork drawing light hearts on the Internet. I just thought it'd be a cool idea to do something with Christmas lights (since it's Christmas) and hearts are the easiest to draw and they make the most sense - it would be pretty stupid of me if I drew a bunch of squares or triangles, right? But then again... I'm not eradicating the possibility of the fact that I love you, because I really do, there, I said it. I love each and every one of you crazy fucks for dedicating me 3 to 5 to 8 (hey, some of you have to be slow readers like me) minutes of your life 3 times a week. I don't fully comprehend why you do that, but I'm very glad you do. You're nice. And cool. And one of these hearts is for you. Yes, you. So merry fucking Christmas!



  1. Sending best Christmas wishes to you and your fantastic blog!
    Best Regards
    Miss Margaret Cruzemark

  2. great shots! you looks amazing.
    Merry Christmas,

  3. Woooh, I love those pics, Peet, especially the first one! Happy holidays, miss!

    P.S.: So could you now please tell me why my dog is farting so much?

  4. Oh, dear Peet, it´s always so funny to read your posts! And if one is cool, than you :) You made me smile, thanks a lot and the pictures are another great idea - I´m impressed!

    Happy Holidays!

    xx from Bavaria/Germany, Rena

    International giveaway for your good figure

  5. Peet, I have my tummy so full after the food I ate today and it aches laughing out load reading your comments to the organic traffic keywords you get! Oh my! For sure, there is something wrong in them! And, I notice dogs farting is a common trouble! I never own a pet unfortunately so I have any idea of the gravity of it!:P Btw, these photos are so creative, and the hearts are so cute! We love you too Peet!:) Merry Christmas my dear, hope is filled with love, happiness and delicious food!:) Kisses! xo

  6. Thank you for the uplifting Christmas present of reading this post! I ate Santa's cookies but my sister sent me a DVD of the third Season of "Shameless" so I'm already in the perfect wacky mood. I love the ludicrousness of how computer programs misconstrue everyone's interests and what is or isn't similar - thank you for zinging the stupid suggestions on your blog! Oh how I wish I could do that calmly and humourously with respect to the "similar channels" to my YouTube ( at They suggest porn, thongs, padded underwear and transvestites instead of lingerie fashionistas, fashion bloggers, full brief panties, blouses and outfits - so I disabled the "similar channels".
    Wow, some of the organic traffic keyword suggestions you received are sick! Others do make me feel curious. ??? I'm a vegetarian. I wonder if it would ever suggest veggieburger ass? Will there be a list of top Darwin Awards for 2013 around New Years?
    I hope you've been having a very Merry Christmas and have a fashion-tastically funny and successful New Year.

  7. Ha! I don't have any key word gems to share .. I sort of think that's a good thing ;-)

    Even though Christmas is not my fav holiday .. I'll say it anyway .. Merry Christmas :-)


  8. I couldn't stop laughing at how many hits you got for dog farts! xD Some of them are also wtf searches, and you're right...damn, there are some sick pervs out there!
    Anyway, Merry Christmas to you!

    The Dragonfruit Diaries

  9. Merry Christmas, Peet! You look stunning, as always! xo


  10. Well....theres some fucked up people out there haha, makes me wanna see what people put in when they come across my site!! Hope you had a fab Christmas hun xx

  11. Merry Christmas to you too, Peet. but those keywords people use? those indeed must be some sick perverts and it's kind of creepy actually, isn't it? I don't get it how should Google help you if your dog farts? Google isn't a doctor (I mean if you're really worried about the dog and its health). but like every second row here in your list is about farting... or ditching girls. at least you know what people are interested in, right? ;)

    Maikeni blogi - part of me

  12. I feel cheated out of my christmas pony. Merry christmas :)
    X. pixelhazard | Bright Green Laces |

  13. I've never wished on a penis. But I prayed (and preyed) on some before.
    Happy holidays Peet!
    In reply to your comment to my last post, yes, life is just too mysterious to fully and completely figure out, so let's just let it run its own course. With regard to the rhyme, it's just your creative mind peeking out. You just can't help it! xxx

  14. FIRSTLY, I LEAVE FOR A WEEK AND YOU'RE BLONDE?! What is happening. Second, merry xmas, woman! Hope you had a good one. What did Santa bring YOU?! Some of these seriously had me rolling. Who comes up with this shit?!

    xo Ashley

  15. I'm still in my pyjamas for boxing day ad this makes for perfect reading whilst I sit here pitying myself for eating and drinking too much! I've never really bothered to look at my Google analytics - I'm just too damn lazy to care, but I might now having seen some of these terms, it's worth a laff, although I think mine would be quite boring to be fair - I mean look at the content of your posts compared to mine!

    Love the photography here babe and the Beyonce inspired hair - it's your photography and written content and humour and wit that brings me back here 3 times a week, so keep doing what you are doing guurrll.


  16. Ho ho ho, merry after Christmas to you too. Love your hair!

  17. I hope you had a really wonderful holiday.

  18. Ya know what? My search terms are pretty ridiculous too ;) My fave is "red pubes" - I agree - what about them and why would on even search for that? Not even talking about animals or porn :)


  19. Lol loving this! Thinking about downloading also! Hope you had a great Christmas.

  20. mierda!
    small and blonde santa claus ....
    could you stop being in my mind? I've just bought some christmas lights to decorate my room ... and maybe ... MAYBE ... i would make a post with moving lights. But you beat me (can not speak a lot, I stole the fog first)


    haha more than half of searches are related to dogs and farts. Q Mr Fart must feel very honored!

    Happy Christmas, holydays, 1014 and life. Make your wishes come true ;) (hopefully one day I could buy one of your books)
    Thank you for everything you have done for my and my blog last months XXX

  21. Merry Christmas
    Happy holidays!

  22. I think this site is very helpful for me. Very good put up, i actually love this web site, keep on it…organic traffic Targets Prospects Efficiently - With legitimately paid search administration, you can target clients by topography (nearby, provincial, national), by the time (week days, weekends), & by stage (PC, laptops, tablets, versatile).

  23. Oh, how sweet, I'll take my heart! <3
    And OMG, so many pervs and creeps out there!


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