Jan 24, 2014

It IS Sexual Harassment

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      If you've read this post, then you already know that a week ago, I went to a party. We got to the club early so there weren't a lot of people there but eventually they started to come and the fuller the club got, the more annoyed I was by the fact that there were hardly any women there. There were about 7 girls, myself included, 3 of them were gay, I and another girl were there with our boyfriends and I couldn't help but feel sorry for the 2 remaining female creatures. Why sorry? Because men are fucking desperate.
      I've had my fair share of altercations spurred by male desperation and I want to share a couple of them with you so I can defend my case. Exhibit A: I was at a club with a friend when I all of a sudden felt a set of hands grabbing my shirt from behind and starting to pull it over my head. I turned in a second, shoved the guy away and cussed the shit out of him, while all he had to say for himself was: "I just wanted to see your tattoo, what's wrong with that?" What's wrong with that? I have to explain a grown man why you can't undress random people in public? I should have punched you, you dumbass...
      Exhibit B: I walked past a group of guys at a party as one grabbed my ass and said some lovely things to me, at which point I turned and shoved him as hard as I could calling him several lovely names in return. He was really surprised by me shoving him, so he fell on the ground. Then 3 of his boyfriends started coming towards me, saying that they're going to beat me because I shoved their friend and I started screaming: "How lame are you that you have to have 3 of your pit bulls stick up for you!! Oh, you're so tough, all 4 of you are gonna beat up a girl!! Well fuck all of you!!" (I really don't know when to shut up...) Then luckily my friend came over, he grabbed me around my waist and carried me into the crowd while I was swinging and kicking like a rabid Chihuahua so nothing happened. Those 4 cock-suckers were lucky my friend came and saved them.
      Exhibit C: A guy at a club grabbed my crotch as I walked past him in a crowd, so I turned and poked him in the eyes with my middle and index finger.
      Exhibit D: A guy grabbed my butt at a party as I walked past him and I turned around and slapped him.
     Exhibit E, F, G...: I had guys pulling on my hair, grazing my boobs, grabbing my butt, boobs and basically everything else, and they all got to see a bit of my physical side, but probably not the one that they were hoping for. Except for one guy.
      Exhibit I'M-OUT-OF-LETTERS: I was walking towards the restrooms at a club, when I felt a hand on my butt. I turned around and saw three morons all grinning like they'd just gotten a blow job by a mermaid or something. I said:
      "Ok, which one of you was it?" I intentionally said that with a smile. And it worked, because the guy that did it volunteered himself.
      "It was me." Still with that stupid grin on his slimy face.
      "Ok, listen. I just wanna know. Why the fuck did you do that?" No more smile. No more grin.
      "Erm, I just... Em..."
      "No, tell me, when has this approach ever worked for you? When has a girl after you've just grabbed her ass ever turned and said: 'I want you so bad, you stud, let's go to the bathroom and fuck all night long.'"
      "Em, never. But maybe you'll be the first?"
      "I won't be. Even if I didn't have a boyfriend, it would NEVER happen. But since I do have a boyfriend, let me tell you this - he fucked more girls than all 4 of you have or ever will. You wanna know why? Because he's funny and considerate and isn't a groping creep standing in the shadows waiting for girls to go by so he could grab on them and jerk off to a memory of an ass-grab when he got home."
      "Heeey, you don't know how much sex we're having!"
      "Obviously not much. Tell me something. If you went to the grocery store with your mom and all of a sudden some old grandpa grabbed her butt while she'd be putting a can of peas in the cart, what would you do?"
      "I'd sock him in his face."
      "Fuck yeah, I would."
      "So what makes you think you're not 2 seconds away from getting punched yourself?"
      "Erm... I just..."
      "That was a rhetorical question. I'm not gonna punch you, that ship has sailed. Just leave me the fuck alone and stop acting like a dick." Now looking back, I kind of wish I punched him.
      No matter how many times this sort of thing happens to me, it always pisses me off and I want to and have to react. But there are women who don't get why this bothers me as much as it does or at all because - as they say - "that's how things are". How the fuck is that any justification or argument for anything?! There were times when women weren't allowed to vote or go to school, when it was ok to enslave other human beings or to put an entire race into concentration camps and off them like they were a bunch of mosquitoes, that's how things were and if everybody kept saying "well, that's how things are, you know, deal with it" nothing that's wrong would ever get right. And yes, grabbing other people's private parts without their consent is wrong, W-R-O-N-G. Don't believe me? There's a law saying that I'm right:
      "Sexual harassment is any form of undesired verbal, non-verbal or physical action or behavior of sexual nature with the effect or intent of adversely affection the dignity of a person." That's the Slovenian law on sexual harassment and I'm sure other countries have a pretty similar one. And do you want to know something else? In Slovenia, you can get up to 5 years in prison for sexual harassment. I'm not even talking about rape, for that the punishment is more severe, I'm talking about grabbing a girls behind - as bootylicious and scrumptious as it might be - without the girl's consent. So next time, I'm not going to get upset. Next time, I'm not going to get mad, angry or furious and I'm definitely not punching anyone anymore. I have another plan...
      Next time, when I'll be at a club, from wall to wall filled with dicks in attack mode, and there'll be only about 7 girls there and all of us will feel like a used tampon in a shark tank, I'm just going to wait and let the bitches come. And when they come and make a dick move, I'm going to find the nearest bouncer, point the dude out and say: "This guy just grabbed me and I have several of my friends who can vouch for that. Either throw him out or I'm calling the police and filing a sexual harassment charge and the night will end for everybody. You decide." We'll see 'how things are' then.

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  1. I wish you had punched him...this sexual harrassment makes me so mad to read, and I hate how complacent sooo many people are. Just because "that's the way things are" doesn't mean we should put up with it!

    The Dragonfruit Diaries

  2. in a word - infuriating. i wish it would stop but unfortunately hormones and insecurity are a terrible mix. I wish there were a way to even prevent it as well but don't know how to start...It is also so complex bc the victim somehow gets blamed - even by other women. But I am glad you stick up for yourself!

  3. That's so disgusting. I can't fathom what goes through some people's minds sometimes, or if anything even did. At least you can stand up fr yourself. What happens to the girls who can't? :\ You should've stomped them with those killer boots!

    xo Ashley

  4. Love the make uppp.

  5. hi darling
    thanks for your lovely comment
    love your look,especially the sunglasses
    have a nice day

  6. You should punched them all Peet, even better you need to carry a stun gun around with you and put it to good use on them. I thankfully never experienced this before and I am so sorry that you had to go through it this many times. They are some really sick and depraved men out there, it makes me hopeless for the male species, how on earth have they been raised? Next time this happens, act like normal and take on their names and numbers (just as an act) and then file a sexual harassment against them. Love the shoes and pretty blue shaded eyes. Hugs darling!

  7. Cheez, when did grabbing someone become ok? I blame the Jersey Shore tv show.

    Monica, www.pear-shaped-gal.com

  8. Oh thank goodness you had the guts to say something smart to them instead of just cussing them out. Maybe dicks like them will finally think twice. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Hopefully I'll have the same sanity when I come across this situation in the future. I hate that I have to say "when". I can't even say if.

  9. Well done for standing up to yourself! Those guys were all being complete dicks. I've had loads things like that happen to me too. The last thing was probably about 8 months ago when I was dancing with my friends and this guy kept coming up to me and trying to kiss my neck. He grabbed my arm at one point and kissed it all the way up. I kept walking away and he kept following me. He came behind me, put his arm around my waist and started kissing my neck again. I turned around, put my fist in his face and said 'If you touch me one my time, I'm going to punch you in the face'. Luckily, his friend saw and dragged him away.

    Men can be assholes.

    Corinne x

    1. I can't believe that men don't get the hint. Well, not just a hint, they don't get a neon sign the size of a skyscraper. Men are dick, seriously. I got fucking livid just reading through your comment...

  10. Hell seriously ? Mens are so freaking rude! It happened to me in the past (not that much though) and mostly... at work. That didn't end well (at all)

    1. At work? That... Has to be yet another fucking low... I had something pretty fucked up happen to me at uni. By a professor. And what are you supposed to do in THAT type of situation when you're clearly in an inferior position?! I'm fucking disgusted just by thinking about it...

  11. gorgeous outfit!

  12. Of course it IS sexual harassment. I mean for fuck's sake I don't remember when any of the above were ok. Not Exhibit A, not B, not I-am-out-of-letters. None of them.
    And as Melo said, this doesn't happen only in clubs, at work too. I personally suffered this in buses back in Lithuania! Also trains. At some point I was so scared to travel, I would miss outings with friends just not to travel. I used to be a total wuss and not able stand up for myself. Thank God I grew up from that phase and got a bit of a bully.
    Happy Sunday! I am off to make breakie. xx

  13. Exhibit A already made me go like wtf, who does that, but then it just got worse! Thank god you know how to stand up for yourself. I've never had anything like that happen to me, to be honest, but I think that I probably wouldn't have the balls (no pun intended) to react the way you did in all these situations. I'd probably just swear at the guy and get out of there. I am seriously shocked by all the harassment you've seen. I knew men were pigs, but this is just crazy.

  14. Oh those were the days - I rarely go to clubs and parties now, probably my age, so I don't encounter people like this, but I have previously although not as bad as you have experienced. The worst case was someone pulling my arm, but never touching any other part of my body. It's a good job you are who you are because there are a lot of girls who cannot stick up for themselves like you can, but be careful because there are some crazy men out there as well. If you confront them, next thing you know they pull out some kind of weapon and try to attack you so just be careful. I think your plan to report them to the bouncer is the best option babes! x

  15. That is so creepy. People nowadays lack boundaries which is why I stay away from clubs unless I'm coming with a male. I remember one time while attending a Halloween party, these guys asked to take a picture with me so I agreed and at the same time all three guys reached for my butt. I squirmed, resisted, and by the time the picture snapped, there was all 4 of us, me in a catatonic state, feeling disgusted and trying to get away from the three guys. I mean if this is how sexual harassment feels I can only imagine how long it takes actual rape victims to recover. Guys need to back off!

    xo, N

  16. And THIS is exactly why I started to learn martial arts! Seriously! You never know when some dickhead will do tht to you, grab your butt or whatever else...I swear if someone ever does that to me again I will gladly grab him and wrestlehim down the way I learned it at my Wing Tsun class ;)
    I'm so sick of guys behaving like that at clubs. It doesn't happen very often to me, but when it does it of course upsets me.
    It's even these little moves: when the club is crowded and a guy wants to walk past me, why the hell does he have to grab my waist while doing that?! It's sad that many girls find this normal and let it happen because this is the first step to sexual harassment and they don't even know it.
    Sad sad world...

    1. That's EXACTLY what pisses me off! Stupid women thinking, speaking and acting like that's ok, like it's nothing. Well it fucking is something!! Nobody has the right to touch me when, where and if I don't want it, period. But 90 % of the girls don't react because they're either scared, stupid or just fucking sluts and then I have to deal with morons who think that's ok. When it's fucking not!

  17. this is why i never go alone to the bathroom when i am at the club !!! drunk guys have that annoying macho syndrome !!!!
    totally loving your leather pants !


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  19. You should haven punched them all! How disgusting is this kind of men, they are the first dorks and for sure totally alone. Please, next time you have to do that and see what happens. Is a kind of things that makes me mad. Slovenia law is very severe, things should be so also here in Italy where there isnt so much legal protection for these behaviours, its cause probable is such a sexist country. Btw, you go girl, stand out for yourself. Oh and you look super cool, that blue eye pencil caught my eyes!:) Have a great week my dear, kisses! xo

  20. You SHOULD have punched that last guy Peet. You should have punched them all. Assholes!


  21. I enjoyed reading your thoughts on my last post, thank you! I will defiantly be trying to stay far far away from such idiotic specimen!

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  23. The photos are so creative and artistic! love the fierce attitude the leather pants looks hot on you!


  24. Oh man guys are fuckstains eh? I got that shit when I was taken....now I'm single its even more lame cos its like, obviously your not a nice person if your gonna do that to chicks so how am I supposed to meet my future husband? Oh wait, not in a pub hahaha. I had a guy run his hand through my hair once at a club and I just turned around and pushed him as hard as I could, he fully fell over haha xx


  25. Holy fuck! Honestly I don't get how anyone would feel like it's ok to cross someone boundaries like that! I mean, I would never grab some random guy's crotch like it was nothing. I wish I could think that if it happened the guy would have something against it though. Oh well. I don't want to have prejudices. Anyway, I think that all of this shit comes from a lack of education. I mean: if these people were taught how to have respect from a early age, we shouldn't have to deal with that kind of bullshit. It's the same lack of respect I find when they call you names on the street, wether they are "compliments" or not. I live in Italy, and towards the South, so being called names is something that happens often; being "complimented" on the street, too. I put that in brackets because who says I feel good after receiving a compliment on the street by a complete stranger not to mention by some creeps and weirdos? I don't care if they've just told me I'm beautiful, they told me with that slimy tone I really don't like. So, no I don't even like compliments. Just leave people be. I don't feel the need to say "oh my gawd you're so hot" to a guy on the tube just because I think it. I may look at him a couple of time but if he doesn't like it, I'll just stop. Boundaries. Well, I'm so sorry you had to stumble across so many dickheads, maybe try to change club? I have noticed that some clubs are much worse than others!

    1. I noticed that too, so I don't go to the horrible ones anymore. There's a place that has ZERO female visitors because those dickheads chased away all the females. I was there last when it was about 80 % male and only 20 % female and I had a HORRIBLE time. But it's really weird that you can be half naked on Ibiza and NO ONE will touch you. Not a single person. Sometimes I think I should just move, it'd be easier to get away from all the morons...


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