Even thought the pictures indicate that, Shakespeare didn't make it on the today's things I don't get list. But he was close. Let's be honest, sometimes all of us have a hard time getting Shakespeare, right? Eh, who am I kidding, Shakespeare's hard to get ALL OF THE TIME. Just consider: "Then thou whose shadow shadows doth make bright how would thy shadow's form, form happy show, to the clear day with thy much clearer light, when to unseeing eyes thy shade shines so!" Erm... I'm sorry, what? Nevertheless, his works are true masterpieces in their own right, no doubt. And fun too. All that death and murder - it's like an Elizabethan version of the Die Hard franchise. Fun, fun, fun. But as I've said, Shakespeare didn't make it on the today's list of things my mind can't quite grasp, so let's see what did. (To check previous Things I Don't Get posts click here or the TIDG tab above.)
- Firecrackers. I don't get them. And I don't get people who like them. I get fireworks (although I'm not a fan of those either), but firecrackers? I can grab a pan and a wooden spoon and bang on it right next to your head, it's the same principle - will you like that?
- Why 99,97 % of aliens that appear in the movies speak English. Trust me, that seems pretty stupid to all of the non-English population on the planet. (Yes, there in fact exist people whose first language isn't English, shocking right?)
- Why is the damn 'save' button right next to 'delete' button?!?! On phones, computers, iPads, in Gmail... I swear my fridge has a save and delete button stacked one on top of another.
- Bath selfies. Don't people want some peace and privacy at least while taking a bath?!
- How come some companies make tooth paste that taste terrible. Where's the logic in that? I have to put that thing in my mouth where my tongue is, of course I'm going to find out that it tastes horrid and I'll never buy it again. Here's an idea: Make it taste like watermelon or gin and tonic. I'm sure that'll increase your sales numbers.
- Why do companies put their products in packaging that can't be open? Don't they want me to open the plastic wrapper and use the product? Do they know in advance that they're selling shit so they don't want anyone to use it and find that out for themselves? If you don't know what I'm talking about, check this clip by Larry David.
- How come 17-year-old models advertise anti-age and anti-wrinkle creams for 40+ women? It's just a jar of cream, it's not a time machine.
- Why don't men just sit down when they pee? They don't have to tell anybody that they do, they can have their little secret and keep their macho persona, just sit the fuck down and don't pee everywhere.
- Why do we say that a woman is pregnant for 9 months when it's actually 40 weeks? Do the math, 9 months isn't 40 weeks. So for all of you who were born in September and thought your parents had sex on New Year's Eve and got
cursedblessed with you, think again. You're thinking about your parents having sex now, right? Perv.
- How come Jessica Fletcher was never a suspect???
|Skirt - H & M, top - H & M, cardigan - H & M (men), ring - C & A, tights - House of Holland via eBay|
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