Last week, I went to a funeral. It kind of creeps you out, doesn't it, when you hear the word funeral? But worry not, this won't be a morbid post, cross my heart, because it all ended pretty well - trust me, even for the deceased.
As soon as I got to the cemetery, I reached in my coat pocket to see if I had any handkerchiefs there and I pulled out - a condom. Remember when I told you about a party I went to a while back? They were handing out free condoms there and so that's how that found its way into my pocket (who says no to free anything, right?). But aside from the condom, I didn't have any tissues, not a single one. Which isn't that surprising for me, I NEVER have any paper tissues on me, especially when I need one. Funny enough, back in the day when I was in desperate need of a condom, a condom was nowhere in sight - well it was now, in plain sight of everyone standing next to me. At a funeral. Sweet.
20 minutes later, the person on my right asked me if I had a tissue to spare and I automatically said: "No, but I do have a condom." It turned out that the person really needed a handkerchief and that not even MacGyver would make use of a condom in that situation.
Aside from my brief condom display, another non-morbid thing worth mentioning happened. After a while, I saw a woman who came to express her condolences to the family and she was wearing a knock-off Alexander McQueen SKULL printed scarf, similar to the one I have in the pictures. I was rather surprised by her choice of accessories since it was, after all, a funeral. Is wearing skull printed anything to a funeral like wearing a knit sweater with red-nosed Rudolf to a Christmas dinner? Or like wearing One Direction t-shirt to a One Direction concert? Is that hysterical or just inconsiderate? All I wanted to say to her was it's not a theme party, woman, it's a funeral! Of course, I didn't say anything, I was too busy trying to sort out the flood of thoughts swelling in my head.
One of the things that stuck in my mind was that I'd never want an open casket burial for myself. Those are just creepy and I definitely don't want the sight of my horrid face to haunt people after I'm gone. I want to be able to do that myself if I choose to haunt anyone. But you know what I do want? I want an open urn. Yes, that's what I want and I'm standing by my decision. Think about it - they always say that being different is good and that you should think outside the box. It doesn't get much more outside the box than that, does is? Except if it's going to be windy, then I'll definitely be outside the box and loving life. I mean death.
See, I told you this is not going to be a morbid post.
|Skirt - eBay, shirt - H&M, scarf - Accessories, belt - Bershka, sneakers - Deichmann|
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