Apr 11, 2014

Suck Me, Beautiful!


      So. It's Friday today. Cool, right? Yes, I thought so. And since it's Friday, I thought I'd talk about a topic that's very near and dear to my heart — straws. But not just any straws — drinking straws!
      I drink everything with a straw, at home or at a bar, doesn't matter, everything. Juices, water, coffee (on those rare occasions that I actually have a cup), cocktails and beer. Yes, even beer. Sometimes I even drink wine through a straw, can you handle that? But there's a valid reason for it — since I worked as a waitress, I know what a bitch it is to scrape various lipsticks and glosses and balms off of glasses and those clear ones are especially annoying because you won't notice them while you pour and serve the drink in a hurry, no, the customer will notice it, just sitting there with nothing better to do that to inspect the frigging glass. And then they'll think that you didn't wash it, when you in fact did, it's just that those stupid sticky goos are bullet-proof, not just water-proof.
      Another reason I drink wine with a straw is that I used to guzzle down red wine like there was no tomorrow but then tomorrow came and everybody I saw, knew what I had drank the evening (and night) before because I had an indestructible red coating on my lips for the next 7 months. So in order to drink incognito I used a straw. Sue me.
      But lately my poison of choice's been a pint (0.5 liter) of shandy (radler in Slovene) with 2 shots of vodka. I go for the red orange flavored shandy which is pink and sweet and delicious in itself, but I need an extra kick hence the two vodkas. And everyone always has a problem with me mixing vodka and beer. Then I give them a sip and they're like: "Mmmm, that's so good, it tastes like a cocktail!" Fuck yeah it tastes good. What did you think it'll taste like zebra shit mixed with wombat piss? Of course it tastes good, that's why I drink it. Nobody raises an eyebrow when you ask for a J├Ągerbomb or a boilermaker, but beer and vodka is completely outrageous, yes. And then another shocker — I ask for a straw to come with my drink. "A straw?? You're going to drink beer with a straw??" It's a pint of sweet bubbly pink shit. Do you think sticking a straw in it would be that of a stretch? But now I've found a better way of shutting everyone up.
      A long long time ago, 3000 BC, there was this ancient civilization called the Sumerians which lived in Mesopotamia (now Iraq) and historians believe they were the first to use straws. The oldest drinking straw was found in one of their tombs and is a gold thin tube covered with precious blue stones. Talk about a pimp straw! Lil Jon can have his pimp cup, that's for amateurs, but a pimp straw, now that's something else. I need to get my hands on a pimp straw like that one asap.
      So Sumerians used straws, cool right? But guess what — they used them to drink beer. Yes, that's right, beer as in B-E-E-R, beer. They used straws to avoid sucking the solid sediment at the bottom of the fermented drink. So the next time you see me carelessly sipping my pink beer with my pink straw, leave me the fuck alone. No, I'm not drinking it with a straw to get drunk faster (because that's a myth, by the way), I'm just staying true to the original purpose of the pimp holy straw.



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      Peet 


18 comments:

  1. Happy Friday to you!

    Monica, www.pear-shaped-gal.com

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  2. Hahaha, that's way cool, I never knew that about the Sumerians! Pimp straw indeed xD
    No joke...bullet proof is no exaggeration...

    The Dragonfruit Diaries

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    1. I thought you'd know what I'm talking about. That shit doesn't want to come of without a fight. War even.

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  3. Hahaha.. Now that's a really good reson to use straw .. But serious , straw for beer and ancient people in Iraq had beer and use to use straw.. !!!
    And I so happy that you have finally enabled comments on your posts..
    Great pics
    Kisses
    www.beingbeautifulandpretty.com

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  4. Love this! You make the most random topics seem super interesting... and cool! Killer photos too. The headband and flowers are lovely :)

    -Jen

    www.vibrantbeautyblog.com

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    1. Thanks, babe!! I wasn't sure about them, actually... But I really wasn't in a mood to re-do them, so I said fuck it.:) I guess they're not too horrible...

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  5. vozka and beer? My God, you really know how to mix. I thought i was weird because I mix alcohol and juice or vozca with apple liquor... But beer?
    However, I will not judge you before trying it. Someday I'll tell you what I think about it (someday because I'm locked in my house and I have no social life, but the next time I go out I'll drink a lot XD).

    I also used straws for drinking everything when I was younger. And my mother made me re-use it again and again. How much can cost a pack of plastic straws? How many tens of straws can you find inside? Do you really think that is hygienic washing the same straw while shit gets caught in the folds?

    Parents's mysteries

    XXX
    thttp://muerdelaespina.blogspot.com.es/

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    1. I reuse my straws.:) I guess I'm cheap like that. No, we're not cheap, me and your mom, we're frugal!!!:P

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  6. Great pictures. Fizzy drinks and straws are great except for the bubbles in the nose feeling afterwards. The only downside to straws is the heavy duty slurping noise when finishing off a smoothie...

    xoxo,
    http://petitemaisonoffashion.blogspot.com/

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    1. That's a downside?!?! No, that's definitely the upside in my book.:D

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  7. Whoa, I did not know that straws were that old! The other day I saw a lady jambing a straw into the tiny hole of her hot, Starbucks drink. Oh the things we do for a straw ;)

    Mili

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  8. I fully drink Cider with a straw, like a fucking boss! xx

    www.hausofsarahrachel.blogspot.com

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    1. :D That's definitely like a boss!!

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  9. Thats pretty neat about straws! Who knew that about the Sumerians! I really like paper straws myself, they are so cute and retro! You look gorgeous and I love that vibrant colored flower!

    Rebecca
    www.winnipegstyle.ca

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    1. They do look retro and cute, I agree. And are environmentally friendly to boot!

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  10. HAHA pimp straw! That's awesome.

    xo Ashley
    thetiniestfirecracker.com

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  11. nice job, I just came by cause I checked up your comment at http://www.nutsandboltsmedia.com/ and now I m here, directly from Peru. Ads on your page wont work, they are for search engines, I suggest that u keep what u have been doing because you like it and for peets sake ;) I write cause it is a necesity, Im a writer. I dont take pictures and your work is inspiring me to get a camera and learn to take pictures. Keep up. I see Im the only guy here jeje, no probs, always open minded. Forgive my english its terrible.

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    1. You are a rarity, yes, but that's why I like male comments even better.;) Thanks for taking the time to post these kind and insightful words, no doubt. And I hope you get your camera soon, photography is a cool hobby, I'm frigging loving it!! Cheers.;)

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