Today it's time for the I Wonder series. I especially like this particular set of posts because always when I post one of these lists, at least one person pops up out of nowhere saying that they know the answers to all of the questions. Then I, by all means, politely reply because — even though you might think differently — I was brought up with an iron fist which branded me with good manners, so I cordially say something along the lines of 'please, do share your insightful wisdom, oh kind omni-knowledgeable gift of God you' but the bitch never replies. So before you, whoever's about to leave me a similar comment or send me a text or whatever it is this time, do that, please, save your energy and spare me my nerves, because you have to take something very important into account (beside your awesome genius, of course) and that is the entertainment aspect of these questions. You don't have to like or appreciate it, I honestly couldn't care less, but you should acknowledge its existence. Or else I'll flick you to the most distant outskirts of the known universe. Got it? Great. Super. Splendid. Now, let's get on with the post — I wonder . . .
II.) You know who Coco Chanel is, right? That's her. She's the famous woman who famously said: "A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous." And: "When accessorizing, always take off the last thing you put on." Then she more or less died and now Karl Lagerfeld is designing for her brand, keeping it alive. But my question is this: Would Coco Chanel actually like what Lagerfeld is doing today, would Coco Chanel wear Chanel? Because this is what Chanel is today.
III.) Is it possible for a woman to have NATURALLY big (and I mean huge) boobs but small (and I mean tiny) areolas? Because if nothing else, those pin needle nipples on humongous plastic boobs give you away straight off the bat. Or should I say rack. Here, I'll give you an example: Have a look at this picture. Lovely, right? Well, in reality, it should look more like this.
IV.) What's the difference between hemorrhoids and varicose veins? I bet there is none and 'varicose veins' is just a fancy way of saying you have hemorrhoids on your legs.
V.) Do butterflies fart? And if they do, does the force of a fart blow them off of the flower that they're on? Are they flying like they are simply because they have really bad gas? Maybe they have irritable bowel syndrome and that's why they zig-zag their way through life.
VI.) Why don't Christians cross when they have a snack? What's the 'logic' behind it, what's their excuse? If they bless the food they eat at breakfast, lunch and dinner, shouldn't they cross also when they're in a movie theater about to eat some popcorn? Or when they pop a gum in their mouth?
VII.) How much of reality TV is actually reality? Or better yet, when will they stop calling reality TV reality TV?
VIII.) Has anyone ever moon-walked on the Moon?
IX.) If you have a dog, you know that they roll in shit because they like the smell of it, much like we like to wear some perfume. So do dogs think Dior's Hypnotic Poison or Chanel's No. 5 or Dolce & Gabbana's The One stinks just like we think shit stinks? Are we the only mammals who think perfumes as we know them smell nice?
X.) Where are 'doggy on board' stickers?!?! Fuck 'baby on board', I think my dog is precious too!
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