May 23, 2014

I Wonder . . . #5

      Today it's time for the I Wonder series. I especially like this particular set of posts because always when I post one of these lists, at least one person pops up out of nowhere saying that they know the answers to all of the questions. Then I, by all means, politely reply because — even though you might think differently — I was brought up with an iron fist which branded me with good manners, so I cordially say something along the lines of 'please, do share your insightful wisdom, oh kind omni-knowledgeable gift of God you' but the bitch never replies. So before you, whoever's about to leave me a similar comment or send me a text or whatever it is this time, do that, please, save your energy and spare me my nerves, because you have to take something very important into account (beside your awesome genius, of course) and that is the entertainment aspect of these questions. You don't have to like or appreciate it, I honestly couldn't care less, but you should acknowledge its existence. Or else I'll flick you to the most distant outskirts of the known universe. Got it? Great. Super. Splendid. Now, let's get on with the post — I wonder . . .

I.) In L.A., street numbers on some streets go up to 5000 and even more. I think the highest street number in my town is about 7 and in my entire country there probably isn't a street number higher than 42, PROBABLY, but that's beside the point. The point is — how many postmen are there is L.A.? How many postmen are there needed for the post to be delivered on time each day? I'm sure there are more postmen in L.A. then there are people in my town.

II.) You know who Coco Chanel is, right? That's her. She's the famous woman who famously said: "A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous." And: "When accessorizing, always take off the last thing you put on." Then she more or less died and now Karl Lagerfeld is designing for her brand, keeping it alive. But my question is this: Would Coco Chanel actually like what Lagerfeld is doing today, would Coco Chanel wear Chanel? Because this is what Chanel is today.

III.) Is it possible for a woman to have NATURALLY big (and I mean huge) boobs but small (and I mean tiny) areolas? Because if nothing else, those pin needle nipples on humongous plastic boobs give you away straight off the bat. Or should I say rack. Here, I'll give you an example: Have a look at this picture. Lovely, right? Well, in reality, it should look more like this

IV.) What's the difference between hemorrhoids and varicose veins? I bet there is none and 'varicose veins' is just a fancy way of saying you have hemorrhoids on your legs.

V.) Do butterflies fart? And if they do, does the force of a fart blow them off of the flower that they're on? Are they flying like they are simply because they have really bad gas? Maybe they have irritable bowel syndrome and that's why they zig-zag their way through life.

VI.) Why don't Christians cross when they have a snack? What's the 'logic' behind it, what's their excuse? If they bless the food they eat at breakfast, lunch and dinner, shouldn't they cross also when they're in a movie theater about to eat some popcorn? Or when they pop a gum in their mouth?

VII.) How much of reality TV is actually reality? Or better yet, when will they stop calling reality TV reality TV?

VIII.) Has anyone ever moon-walked on the Moon?

IX.) If you have a dog, you know that they roll in shit because they like the smell of it, much like we like to wear some perfume. So do dogs think Dior's Hypnotic Poison or Chanel's No. 5 or Dolce & Gabbana's The One stinks just like we think shit stinks? Are we the only mammals who think perfumes as we know them smell nice?

X.) Where are 'doggy on board' stickers?!?! Fuck 'baby on board', I think my dog is precious too!


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  1. Hahahaha....farting butterfly. I have a feeling they don't coz if they do, they might disintegrate or literally blow themselves away as far back as possible until they a tree. I agree with doggy on board, although doggies love showing off themselves inside a car anyway, so we know there's a doggy on board. I know and know of Christians who pray over anything they do. If you haven't met them, good. That Chanel look is off in so many ways. The BAFTAS were awarded last weekend and they have a category for reality TV called Constructed Reality (or something like that), so I assume that not all reality TV is reality claimed. I don't watch much TV anymore mainly because I don't have time to waste. I don't even have time to read and comment on all the blogs I follow! Anyway, you made me laugh again. Thanks! PS. Those boobs are horrible, they make me thankful I'm flat-chested. Hurrah!

  2. I would definitely wear what Chanel is today. Elbow and knee protection is quite necessary for day to day life. :)
    In the first picture, you're quite good at gang symbols. Great neon nail polish.

    xoxo, ♥

    1. And let's not forget the hair. I'm sure Coco would love the hair.:)

  3. Haha, always so hilarious and thought-provoking. You should totally get a "doggy on board" sticker! xo


    1. I should stadt making those if they don't already exist.:)

  4. A few stray thoughts:

    II) I suspect that Karl Lagerfeld wears those dark glasses even at night in order to lessen the trauma when he accidentally looks at his own designs and to keep people from noticing when he's averting his eyes. I'm sure Coco Chanel would be spinning in her grave if she knew what Karl was doing to her brand.

    IV) I have varicose veins on and in my legs. I hope they don't start protruding like my external hemorrhoids. Speaking of Hemorrhoids, I loved it when George Carlin suggested the names for hemorrhoids and asteroids should be reversed.

    VII) People who run TV stations have strange ideas about what constitutes reality. Or news. Or the differences between fact and opinion. I mean really. They fired Shea Allen from her job as a journalist for admitting on her private (individual) blog that sometimes she didn't wear a bra under her blouse when she was on TV.

    X) I would think the doggy on board stickers would be a good idea as long as they have no similarities to signs like the one in this sick "Baby on board" image.

    I love the complementary and coordinating colours of your hair, blouse, lipstick, nailpolish, hair flower and graphic lettering.

    1. I hado idea about Allen, that's insane!! What is the world comming to?! And I didn't have those kind of on board stickers in mind, no.:D

  5. Does a butterfly fart bahahaha you have too much free time if your sitting thinking about random shot like that :P xx

    1. Hey, we should all have enough time to think about random shit!!:D

  6. that boob question knocked me down ahaha
    good one xD

  7. and btw i just read ... you are from slovenia :D im on collage there (in maribor to be precise)

  8. Ha ha, you've left me feeling curious now about how Coco Chanel would feel about Karl's 'creativity' - it does seem like a bit of a juxtaposition between what she represented and what he is doing. I have to say though I related more to what he is doing, I think it fits in more with my style. Those boobs are ridiculous. It's one thing when they are fake but poor woman when they are real!

  9. Do butterfly fart ? You've got me on that one XD !
    I'd say they don't but you never know how well they hide it. Like in a room, people often tend to accuse someone else then the hot beautiful girl in the room ^^

  10. #2 I' often think about that.... and my answer is NO, she would never ever wear that. Whatever happened to Chanel...


Hi there. Thanks for stopping by and reading my blog. I read every comment and reply to all the questions, so please, speak your mind.