May 12, 2014

Sex in the Animal Kingdom: Interesting, Weird and Cool Facts — Part 2


.

      Today, I'm going to do something I hardly ever (if ever) do here on the blog — I'd like to address the pictures. I usually don't do this because . . . Because they're pictures. They're supposed to be worth a 1000 words each. What more is there to say? But since these are (probably (a bit)) dark and gloomy, I don't want you to think that's how I envision sex because they're in no way connected to the topic (although some of the things you're about to read can be fucking scary and give you anxiety (or at least make you grab your crotch), so consider yourself warned). With the exception of the Things My Boyfriend Doesn't Like series, the pictures on my blog are rarely relevant to the text so this is nothing new. I just took these shots a while back merely for the sake of taking them but oddly enough they capture my current state of mind pretty damn well because I at the moment feel in a way trapped in a place I've never wanted to be. But there's nothing better than sex to cheer up a gloomy situation so for your own sake, I hope you're getting some because who doesn't want to have their worries and problems pounded right out of their head. And pounded hard. Anyway, if you can't afford the luxury of having some good  clean  dirty sex, you're in luck — this second post on sex facts (read the first one here) is almost like the next best thing (almost being the operative word). So let's get it on.


>1: An elephant's penis can get 5 feet/1.5 meters long (which is only 6 inches/15 centimeters shorter than my entire body, head to toe, just for comparison). Sure, the penis comes in handy when it's time to reproduce but it's also very useful for other purposes. Elephants can get a boner whenever they want to and use their humongous dicks as a fifth leg to balance themselves while reaching for food that's hard to grab. They also use it to scratch their bellies, they just swing it around until it hits the spot.

>2: The Argonaut is an octopus with a special little thingie called hectocotylus which is basically the octopus's penis. It stores the male's sperm and then it detaches from the male body and finds the reproductive cavity on a female who stores the penis inside her — for good. The end. At least that's the end for the male octopus who only gets to mate once in his life since he's left without a dick after that. The female, on the other hand, can get her freak on over and over and over again. Ha. And they store multiple hectocotyli in their bodies as souvenirs. Double ha.

>3: In Canada they have a pretty peculiar tourist attraction — an orgy. But not just any orgy — a snake orgy. When a female red-sided garter snake wakes up from hibernation, she releases a pheromone which attracts hundreds of male snakes who all want to do the nasty with her so they create a 'mating ball'. As many other snakes, the male garter snake has two dicks, one on each end so he can just use whichever penis is closer to the female. Well ain't that swell? But that's not all. There's also a 'she-male' garter snake, who releases pheromones just like a female would and then a mass of female snakes come and . . . 'keeps him warm' thinking that he's a she. (Am I the only one who thinks of Stu from Hangover II?)


>5: Remember Nemo from Finding Nemo? Well, that fish actually exists in real life and it's called a clownfish. But what's cool about the species is that they can change sex. Their society is based on a strict hierarchy governed by size — the biggest fish is a female and the next largest fish is the breeding male and the rest of them are just regular, minion males. When the female dies (or gets lost like Nemo), the breeding male changes into a female and the one who was in line behind him size-wise, gets promoted into the sex machine of the shoaling.

>6: You might know that pandas are an endangered species, but you might not know why exactly that is so. The reason for that is that they're not that interested in sex — they're too lazy to shag. But some brilliant employee at a panda research base in China came up with an idea to show them some panda porn to get them hot and bothered. And it worked. So now, when pandas are old enough to mate, they show them videos of two pandas getting it on.

>7: You've probably heard of the fact that female spiders eat the male after they reproduce. Well, a certain species (Nephilengys malabarensis) developed an interesting survival tactic — the male breaks of his genitals after he mates with the female. And never grows is back, he remains dickless for the rest of his life. And since the female is then unable to mate with any other spider, they're both fucked. Over and for good.

>8: The female Muscovy duck has developed an anti-rape vagina. The male ducks have large penises (8 inches/20 centimeters which is large even from a human point of view) and can erect them in one third of a second so the female has close to no time to escape if she doesn't want to mate with the duck attacking her. So to avoid getting raped, a female's vaginal canal twists and turns which prevents the male from inserting his penis easily or quickly. What's more, the female has to intentionally relax her vaginal muscles for the mating or insemination to occur. Pretty clever, right?

>9: I usually omit the boring technical data for the sake of being concise but with this fact I want to give you the full boring scope of details so you won't think I'm making it all up. I always check stuff I write here anyway, but this time I want to make this blatantly clear because this is pretty major and here it goes: The Queens University in Belfast conducted an interesting study on human sexual behavior and published it in British Medical Journal in 1997 which showed that men who orgasm more frequently (have more than 100 orgasms a year) have a 50 percent reduction in mortality risk. In plain English? Those who fuck more live twice as long. Want to prolong your life? Stop eating chia seeds and drinking seven billion gallons of water a day — go get laid. Or masturbate.





       Don't forget to share and follow FPS via Twitter, Bloglovin and/or Google+ to get the latest updates. But most importantly, do come by again sometimes — posting days are Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, so hopefully see you then!

      Peet 

20 comments:

  1. Your photographs are fascinating - I love the last one especially. Some video clips with that state of makeup and hair colour would look fabulous in a music video. The sex in the animal kingdom facts are fascinating too. Maybe the expression "he has a real horse dick on him" should be changed to "he has a real elephant dick on him. No, wait. That would be a ridiculous exaggeration. Sorry. The ninth interesting fact was a real stunner to me. My parents were very prudish and didn't adequately tell me the facts of life. I was masturbating from a young age, not knowing what it was, and thinking it might be taking years off my life-span. Now, thanks to you, I find out that the opposite is true and I should have been doing it as much as practicable (which I do but not without feeling guilty). Then a creative idea occurred to me whilst I was thinking back to the sixth interesting fact (about pandas). That should work for people too. There are sex therapists and sex counseling for couples. Perhaps if a licensed psychiatrist determined that watching porn would help the couple mate, she could write a prescription for porn. Naturally the porn should then be tax deductible as a medical expense. :)

    http://www.full-brief-panties.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like the idea of porn being tax deductible. I like it a lot.:)

      Delete
  2. Well. Seems like hyenas totally pwn their male counterparts. Scary. And poor penguins - how sad :(
    Regarding the images - wow man. They are stunning - I know you said they reflect how you feel on the inside - that feeling looks amazing on the images but I hope you are okay!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The penguin fact is sad, yes. Especially because they already have to live in such a shitty environment. If they lived somewhere tropical and had sex once a year, I'd be like ok, at least they can enjoy some sun and nice views but the way they live is just so frigging sad... AND they have a mate for life. So you have sex once a year with one and the same person. For ever. I mean ... I'd rather die.:) But anyway, it's nothing too disturbing, just a little hiccup. Nothing I wouldn't be able to solve on my own. Which usually is the case — do it yourself and everything will be a-ok, right?;)

      Delete
    2. Do it yourself is the ONLY way, I learned it the hard way. Good luck to you!

      Delete
  3. Beautiful pictures Peet! I guess that female hyenas are the ultimate girl power one could ever have. Whoop Whoop! I also think that every girl should be equipped with an anti-rape vagina. Pretty cool animals.

    xoxo,
    http://petitemaisonoffashion.blogspot.com/ ♥

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm always fascinated with the creativity of your photos.

    Monica, www.pear-shaped-gal.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh my word, panda porn...
    You always give me the best info for conversations xD
    Lol and your photography is always so captivating. I love the artistry you infuse them with, they're very thoughtful, moody, and inspirational!

    The Dragonfruit Diaries

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi Peet! Oh well, have to say elephants are pretty clever!^^' Never heard about the "snake orgy attraction but could be interesting!:P Also the pandas made me so smile, where nature doesnt help, human does!:) And poor penguins, feel sorry for them!:) Btw, Peet, the photos are so impressive and caught my eye so much. I hope you are doing fine and happy and that isnt anything bad that makes u feel so. Send u a big hug! xo

    ReplyDelete
  7. The facts are fun, but these pictures, man... Woah. You have a serious talent, ya know.

    xo Ashley
    thetiniestfirecracker.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Meh . . . I just got lucky with these shots if you ask me . . .

      Delete
  8. Jealous of that Moscovy duck, that minge might make me feel better walking home alone at night, lol xx

    thepersephonecomplex.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought that too, that it would be a cool thing if we developed something like that. But of course, the ducks outsmarted us and not vice versa.:)

      Delete
  9. Haha, even more crazy facts! I might have nightmares about that giant elephant penis and I must look into that Canadian snake orgy. Who knew it was a local attraction ;) Loving your photos here too- stunning and dramatic! :)

    -Jen

    www.vibrantbeautyblog.com

    ReplyDelete
  10. Your photography is always stunning and evocative, Peet. Even if it has nothing to do with the text, it is always a pleasure to look at - more bloggers should put this kind of creativity into their work.

    And as for the animals facts, as usual, your cracked me up. I'm sad to report that I grew up relatively close to the snack orgy pits, although I've never been. We do have some strange tourist attractions in Canada :P And as for panda porn, well, what can I say. The scene I'm envisioning is just too funny.
    xox,
    Cee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OMG, you live close??? I'd freak out if I knew there's a snake orgy near by. I love all animals, but I'm still a bit hesitant around snakes. And bees.:)

      Delete
  11. Well... I ain't getting any so maybe that's my problem then? Then again reading this I'm not feeling so amorous anymore. Elephants using their willies as a stand? And a willie that's a little shorter than me? Ouch! Wow and the octopus! I was thinking they must be monogamous, I mean sacrificing that for one girl and all? But no! Girl Power yo! Panda porn? Well, I've heard it all now. And all this penis detaching, doesn't it hurt them? I mean if you pull off a spiders leg they run around like crazy so wouldn't the penis be the same? Oh and why the hell do ducks have such huge penises? I don't understand it, they're tiny birds! At least when I picture them their no bigger than my forearm which is about 20-30 cm long anyway.

    Hope you're feeling a tad better love, I still need to respond to your email, I'll do it tonight-hopefully. I keep falling behind over here! I let myself get too distracted with stuff. I'm here too if you need someone to vent to or just to bounce ideas with and stuff.
    SDMxx
    www.daringcoco.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why do you know what a spider does if you pull off its leg??????:)

      Delete
  12. OMG your photography is so imposing. Have you considered being a professional photographer - then you'd definitely have to make an appearance on Instagram. Okay okay I'll stop going on about Instagram hee hee. Anyway as for the theme of your photos, especially that one with your hands on the wall, that really does look like it's related to sex - maybe subconsciously they are connected to your thoughts about sex??

    I loved the fact about the panda, sounds a bit like me in every sense at the moment. Spiders are my biggest fear in the world - trust me, so the less of them there are the better - get shagging spiders!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Honestly, I'd never become a pro photographer because I don't feel qualified to charge people money for it. And I'm doing this only for me, for my own fun and entertainment, and I don't want all the fun to be sucked out of it by clients and weddings and shit.:) Because that's what I'd be photographing if I wanted to make a career out of it...

      Delete

Hi there. Thanks for stopping by and reading my blog. I read every comment and reply to all the questions, so please, speak your mind.