There isn't much to say for an overture. It's Things I Don't Get part 14. You can find the rest of the TIDG posts here, a short explanation behind the series here and the latest list of things I don't get below.
- Scare attractions. Why would anyone pay money to get scared?
- Strawberry blond. How the fuck can a strawberry be blond? It can't and you're not blond. That's brown. Or red. Not blond. Period.
- Mules. Slip on heels, really? Those shoes are death traps. Or at least an instant broken ankle. Walking in slip on high heels is like trying to hit a pinata with a chain saw — not that smart.
- What's with all the hype around blonds? Because blond hair is less common than let's say brown hair? Natural redheads are pretty uncommon too, why isn't a red-haired green-eyed woman the sex symbol cliché?
- How come people who decide to have plastic surgery can't stop before they look like a generic plastic alien version of themselves? I was really shocked when I saw Madonna out of all people looking more and more like the bride of Wildenstein. What's wrong with looking your age? Would you rather look over-25, which is what you are, or would you rather look desperate, which is what people after countless procedures look like?
- I know the award season is over, but I was just thinking about this recently: How come people come on stage to receive an award and then go 'ummm' and 'erm' for two minutes? You know you were nominated, so prepare something just in case. Better than going up there as if Rain Man walked on stage.
- How come women voluntarily get breast implants? If you have to consider breast augmentation due to some disease, I get that, but merely out of vanity? Sorry, no. Breasts are there not just to LOOK good, but to FEEL good too (not to mention that those two functions even aren't what the boobs are essentially for) so if someone told me: "Hey, I can make your boobs humongous but there's a chance you won't feel a thing if someone sucks on your nipple, how about that?" I'd definitely say: "Well, fuck you very much, but no fuck you."
- How come people just leave shopping carts in the middle in the parking lot? If you can't carry your groceries to your car and you have to wheel them across the parking lot, fine, do that, but then take the cart back, don't be a lazy ass.
- Why are people complaining about dogs shitting on green surfaces? I get that it's not cool if they shit on sidewalks but what's wrong with a little bit of poop on grass? But then you see people flicking their cigarette buds all over the place and those don't decompose that easily. Or even better yet, then you see people BUYING manure which is basically SHIT so their grass and flowers would grow but God forbid some dog would defecate on their precious little stupid lawn.
- This song. Do. Not. Get. It. Here, read the lyrics. In all honesty, if I ever meet a girl like that, I'll petition for her sterilization. People like that should not be allowed to procreate. Fucking waste of oxygen.
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