Aug 13, 2015

Artificial Intelligence: (Soon to Be) The Only Intelligence Left

     This post will be a rant, just so you know, so consider yourself warned. Therefore you probably won't gain anything useful or educational by rummaging through the following assortment of words, but that really is ok, right, since you all have your smart phones and smart whatnot enlightening you and guiding you through your daily conundrums. Which brings me to what brought me to the ranting business — all of the smart shit. And it all started a couple of days ago.
     So a few days back, me and my boyfriend talked about navigation systems and how now basically every phone's already equipped with one. While he was gushing over the fact, I argued quite the opposite case saying I prefer good old maps to any technology while roaming a new city because a phone (or a satellite connection) can always die on you while paper will never let you down. When thinking about it more, I added: "I wonder how soon maps will become obsolete. I'm sure we're not many generations away from seeing some stupid idiot," a child of the, ironically, smart revolution, "holding a map and yelling at it, 'Engage! Engage!'"
     We both laughed and sure such prospects may seem funny now but when the entire world looks like a scene from Idiocracy or the Axiom Ship from Wall-E will we still be laughing then? Probably not because humour will be too advanced a skill anyway, but who cares about the future — we can laugh it off now and you can rest assured I personally love my dose of amusement rooted in stupidity (just think of this post where I said 'stupid people are the salt of life'). But there's, nonetheless, one more quote that comes to mind while talking about the thick-headed and that's 'too much of a good thing'.
     Is it just me or have humans been collectively growing more and more ... simple-minded? I know that it's simple logic that the more dim people there are the more dim people there will be and the dims are definitely in the lead by an embarrassingly wide margin (just think of the Gaussian distribution of intelligence) and you really can't fix that unless you intentionally breed a race of √úbermenschen, I mean super-humans, which one simply cannot do (just think of Hitler and how he got shot down, I mean in the head) since that goes against that thing about free will and stuff. Therefore you have her with perky tits and him with an amazingly long schlong or her with long blonde locks and him with piercing blue eyes or her with mouth-watering cooking skills and him with insanely skilful hands (able to fix the toilet, what else) and the two mate and procreate and multiply happily ever after more or less regardless of the semen/ovum-bank's IQ so thus — the more dim people there are the more dim people there will be.
     But as if that's not causing big enough of a blow to humanity, it seems that there's something actually speeding up the inexorable process of stupification and I have a theory on what that is: it's all the smart bullshit all around us. We have navigation systems leading us by the hand like little toddlers so no one can read a simple fucking map anymore. We have smart ovens and smart fridges and smart dishwashers and smart washing machines beeping and flashing their lights telling us how to and when to use them, not to mention smart phones with their address books (so no one knows a single phone number by heart any more, not even their own) and calorie counters and navigation systems and intelligent personal assistants (like Siri or Cortana) remembering stuff and staying on top of things instead of us, so basically we don't have to use the one thing that's setting us apart from the rest of the animal kingdom — our 'awesome' brain power.
     Now, since there are — according to a study from a few years ago — roughly 90 percent of iPhone owners using Siri on a monthly basis, there's a huge chance you're thinking: "Use my brain? Why the fuck would I do that for if I have some artificial intelligence shit doing all the 'heavy' lifting for me?" And I guess that makes sense or it at least shouldn't be too much of a surprise: we religiously plaster anti-wrinkle creams on our faces to prevent our skin from ageing, we use whitening toothpaste to prevent our teeth from staining, so why the fuck wouldn't we use every application available to prevent our brains from thinking while we look pretty as fuck (which is, let's not kid ourselves, the ONLY important thing here). But thinking, mind you, is the one thing separating us from butt naked monkeys dangling from palm trees throwing coconuts.
     Ok, one could argue that we, unlike those 'poor' monkeys, at least have the possibility to use any form of AI because we're so smart that we discovered fire and invented the wheel which led to Cortana and Talking Tom Cat, bless our infinite genius, but before you say 'amen', let me just ask you this: Which of those astounding discoveries or inventions is yours? None, right? Yes, there's a small pool of people with brains surging out of their craniums, but I'm sorry, the entire humanity can't just schlep on their laurels — most of us are slowly but surely sliding down towards the dementia-lurking, coconut-throwing dark ages ruled by the likes of Cortana and Siri.
     But honestly, it doesn't bother me that one day Talking Tom playing Angry People on his genius phone will rule the world — if we're lazy and/or dumb enough to renounce our superior position, then we deserve to be run over by someone or something smarter, that's the course of nature. Remember dodo? Do you know how it became extinct? I'm not willing to bet that you do or don't, but I AM willing to bet that Siri does and here's what Apple's AI might tell you: Dodo was a flightless bird too lazy and/or dumb to fear and run away from people making itself an easy prey thus something smarter and stronger run it over — we. And it seems that it's just our turn now, we're the dodos of the future. Let's face it, we're history.

     Thanks for stopping by and looking and reading (obviously) my mishmash jumble of cascading torrent of pot-pourri-like craziness, it means the world to me. Therefore, you're welcome to pop by again next week to see what's new on the blog, so hope to see you back on Wednesday since Wednesday's the designated FPS day. But beware, I'm not signing and sealing that in blood so your best bet is to follow FPS via email (or Bloglovin, Twitter, Instagram or Google+) to never miss an update. Or simply come by again sometimes!