Oct 24, 2015

Bitches Will Be Bitches (part 2)

     Remember those haughty, self-centered high school girls corralled together in herds otherwise known as the popular kids' cliques? Remember how some of them even named their posses and walked around all high-and-mighty thinking that they're the shit? Ever wonder what happened or happens to those (types of) girls? I certainly think about it sometimes but not really long and not really hard because it's pretty obvious what happens to them — nothing. As life has taught me many a time, bitches will be bitches and thus those girls, now women, are still walking among us like, for lack of a better word (but not really), bitches. But ok, that could be just my personal experience and not really a fact, so the question is: is there any scientific proof backing my claim? Can or better yet do people change?
     Thanks to my very inquisitive (inquisitorial?) nature, I rarely let things go and if a question bugs me, I get to the bottom of it. And the question above REALLY bugged me, so I decided to look into it. Feel free to call me curious, yes, but hey, even if curiosity did kill the cat, the cat has nine lives, therefore I say bring on the nosiness, meow. And here's what that nosiness led me to.
     When nosily questioning whether or not a person's personality can change, you first have to know what personality is. There's a bunch of definitions and theories out there but it's basically a mixture of characteristics distinguishing you from everyone else. The myriad of those characteristics can neatly be grouped into five personality traits which are openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, neuroticism and agreeableness. Cool, right? It doesn't tell you shit, right? Worry not, this will: Openness depicts the level of intellectual curiosity, creativity and preference for new and different stuff, conscientiousness encompasses one's ability to be organized and dependable, extroversion reflects one's degree of sociability, talkativeness and the tendency to seek support and stimulation in the company of other people, neuroticism expresses the tendency to worry and experience negative emotions (depression, anger, vulnerability), and lastly, agreeableness is all about a person's tendency to be compassionate, cooperative, warm, generous and helpful — all of which a bitch, by definition, is deprived of and so I was curious about agreeableness the most.
     As it turns out, even though our traits stay more or less the same throughout our lives, coincidentally and interestingly, agreeableness is the trait improving the most over time. So what, my bitches will be bitches mantra gets rebutted just like that? High school bitches won't be adult bitches after all? Well, don't get too excited just yet, because even though you shouldn't count your chickens before they hatch, you can in fact count (and avoid) your bitches before they mature, since the improvement is slight (you can't exactly expect a chicken to blossom into a swan or a bitch into Mother Teresa) and it occurs only after the bitchy subject was subjected to a certain change or a negative occurrence.
     It's no secret that drama builds character as well as enhances one's empathetic and compassionate abilities, so if you're lucky you get your dose of shit early in your life and you don't even become a self-absorbed spoiled little cunt in the first place. That is, like I said, if you're lucky. And I genuinely do mean lucky, even if it sounds like I'm being sarcastic associating negative experiences with luck, because just the other night I realized just how lost-in-space people who've lived a cushioned life are.
     Not too long ago, I was out with some friends and friends of friends when one of them blamed her parents for her failed relationships with men because they had a happy marriage and hence she wasn't prepared for love related problems. A few other people, having the same sad misfortune of having parents who love and respect one another, avidly concurred and I thought to myself, "Oh, you poor saps, this is priceless. Can't wait till I tell my mom about this, she'll fucking love it." And fucking love it she did. After laughing her little tush off, my mom, happily divorced with two grown children, said: "So what, parents don't stand a chance, we screw you up either way?" Well, not if you ask me. You can't go through life pointing fingers at others, even though it's extremely tempting since it's so easy (and partially even justified), because aside from your genes and environment determining your fate, there's also this thing called free will and you should make use of is, it's quite handy. So thanks to free will, all the bitchy divas and spoon-fed princesses still have the option to boost their agreeableness — they can simply follow in Buddha's footsteps, easy peasy.
     I don't know how much you know about Buddha (probably not much since he doesn't have an Instagram account) but he basically was the quintessential spoiled brat till the age of 29: he had palaces build for him, he didn't have to do his laundry or cook his own meals, his father sheltered him from all the negative there was in the world and thus Buddha lived his life like a prince for years and years, BUT — Buddha was smart enough to know that there had to be more to life than just rainbows and sunshine and so he renounced all the pillows and cushions and courtesans and Nintendos his father provided him with and went on to live a more profound and meaningful life, simply because he decided to, despite his genes, despite his environment. Easy, right? Not really, so forget free will and just blame your parents for everything.
     But since harnessing your free will and deciding to open your eyes and acknowledge that the world doesn't revolve around you is obviously such a grueling and tedious task, reserved only for the enlightened, is there no hope for all the bitches suffering from agreeableness deficiency thanks to their pampered lives? Luckily, there is: they can wait for life to yank the cushion from under their asses and beat them senseless with it. In other words, give them children. Yes, having children is that change or negative (some would call it joyous, but it's my blog so I'ma call it negative) occurrence which, according to a certain study, helps to transform a bitchy individual into — a compassionate, cooperative, warm, generous and helpful Mother Theresa? No, just a slightly less bitchy individual, because a leopard can't change its spots, they just become slightly muted with age.
     That being said, I sure hope you don't look back on your high school years wishing you would've ran with their pack or are even feeling excluded because you're not a part of their coterie now, because you want to know something? People really don't change. And coddled little divas make lousy friends. They forget your birthdays, they aren't there for you when you need them, they only know how to talk about their issues but don't know how to listen to other people's problems and they promise you things which they never deliver — they basically don't invest in the friendship as much as you do. Yes, they can be a hoot to be around because they're extremely gifted in the openness and extroversion department, but they lack the psychological make-up to be a good friend. Because their agreeableness trait is underdeveloped? Because they don't have enough children? Because they were born with a silver spoon up their ass? No, because they're bitches. And that's what they'll be.


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     Thanks for stopping by and looking and reading (obviously) my mishmash jumble of pot-pourri-like craziness, it means the world to me. Therefore, you're welcome to pop by again next week to see what's new on the blog — I post once a week every week, most likely on Wednesdays. But beware, I'm not signing and sealing that in blood so your best bet is to follow FPS via email (or Bloglovin, Twitter, Instagram or Google+) to never miss an update. Or simply come by again sometimes!


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