Aside from intolerance and bad breath, arrogance is one of the most unattractive qualities on a person in my opinion and that’s why I brush my teeth diligently, use a mouthwash, dental floss and tongue scraper regularly and steer clear of egotism. Why foul breath is a no-no needs no further explanation, right, but why arrogance?
I honestly have no idea where my contempt for vanity comes from. Maybe this tendency stems from attending the Sunday school (actually not held on Sundays in Slovenia) for almost half my life where they branded my brain with the Seven Deadly Sins, one of them being the horrid Pride. But I also vaguely remember someone preaching something about Lust, Gluttony and Sloth but I have absolutely no problem whatsoever lying on my couch like a beached (couched?) whale at the moment after I’ve eaten a pizza the size of the blanket I’m bundled under thinking about how nice it would be to get some head – or a beer (or both) – right here, right now. So maybe the Church is not to blame (surprisingly) and maybe the explanation is far simpler – perhaps my revulsion for arrogance was brought on by the multitude of arrogant, pompous individuals I’d come across in my life. You know, all those dudes claiming they simply cannot float on water because they're “so muscular” that they “just sink like a rock” or those girls saying they have photographic memory so they “don’t ever have to study” because they memorize everything before they even hear it basically? Yeah, there’s far too many people proclaiming their fabulousness left and right and when I see something I don’t like, I stay away. Much like with peplum and a split tongue – not my style.
For the longest time, I thought I was more or less successful in my staying away and ducking the dreaded arrogance but recently it became painfully obvious that I took my disdainful stance to extremes when my mom said that I’m a confident person trying to pay me a compliment which I (mis)took for reprimanding.
“What? You think I’m conceited??” I couldn’t believe my ears.
“Wait a minute. Being conceited and being confident are two different things and there’s nothing wrong with the latter. There’s nothing wrong with knowing your worth and believing I yourself and your work.”
“So what? You think I think I do everything right, that I can’t do no wrong? Because let me tell you, I KNOW that everything I do could’ve been done a thousand times better even if I put in one hundred percent.”
“Yes, I know you think that. That’s because you’re mine and your father's daughter: perfectionism, that’s the legacy we’ve given you and your brother. And I’m sorry for that,” she added (half) jokingly, while my mind flashed back to an 8-year-old Peet sitting at the kitchen table with a reader before me and my father behind me smacking me over the head every time I mispronounced a word. And thank fuck for that because all that head-smacking obviously prevented my head from getting too big and I despise big-headed bitches, so thank you, daddy.
But even though arrogant, big-headed pride, which was luckily nipped in the bud, isn’t sexy, the opposite end of the spectrum is just as unappealing: low self-esteem is definitely a turn off and a few days ago (when I got some awesome compliments from some awesome people via Twitter) it hit me that in my attempt to not come across as arrogant, I came across as unsure of myself which, coincidentally, also isn’t my style. So I decided to put an end to this bullshit once and for all, looked into this confident vs. arrogant dilemma and found out that I was right to steer away from arrogance because
So you should definitely say NO to arrogance and say YES to confidence instead because the latter has nothing to do with bragging nor with low self-esteem but rather with the very elusive state of being humble and modest therefore it won't hurt to point out that
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