May 15, 2016

No Good Deed Ever Goes Unpunished

     As I've said before, I'm not the biggest fan of motivational quotes in general and my reasoning behind that can best and briefest be explained with a Darren Hardy quote: "Motivation without action leads to self-delusion." But despite my disdainful stance on motivational quotes, that doesn't mean I'm spared from seeing them, far from it — they're just as abundant and impossible to overlook as all those free and self-serving, although for the better part at least entertaining if not enjoyable, boob and ass shots posted here on the World Wide Web so no wonder I, a few days ago, stumbled upon one that sparked my interest. It said, "If you know me based of who I was a year ago, you don't know me. My growth game is strong. Allow me to reintroduce myself," to which my sparked interest said, "Damn, you really had to be one fucked-up individual if you improved so much in one year that people can't recognize you anymore."
     Now, one shouldn't read into those words that I'm equally disdainful towards personal growth, not at all, I'm just somewhat skeptical when it comes to it (especially to it to that extent) since psychology teaches that personality is more or less an unchanging entity and I strongly believe that myself so if one changes that drastically, they can over time just as easily change back or on a whim change into something completely different (and dishonest). Due to all of this, it's no surprise that one of the few things I unequivocally like about myself, along with my awesome liquor-holding talent for example, is that I've stayed more or less the same since preschool, nose-picking and bellybutton-marveling and all.
     But as my mind rambled away about bellybuttons and personalities and growth and liquor after seeing the strong-growth-game quote, it eventually stopped dead in its tracks. "Wait. Or have I changed? I have been wondering lately if I'm still as nice as I used to be, haven't I?" And being a nice person is not something to be sneezed at in my book. Coincidentally, though, the thing that got me wondering that was in fact a sneeze.
     When it comes to sneezing, I don't take saying 'bless you' lightly because saying those two short, simple words is one of the quickest and simplest ways to show that you're a considerate, attentive and kind (in short nice) person. Therefore I was taken aback when my boyfriend recently nudged me and said: "How come you never say bless you when I sneeze?"
     "Huh?? I never say bless you? I always say bless you. When didn't I say bless you, come on, give me one example!"
     "Just now."
     "Just now. I sneezed — and you didn't say bless you."
     "No, you didn't."
     "Yes, I did."
     "... you did?"
     "And I didn't ...?"
     "I'm sorry, babe — bless you," I said and gave him a quick peck. "Bless you, bless you, bless you," peck, peck, peck. Of course I covered him in all those bless-yous and pecks because I was feeling guilty and mortified — as I said, I don't take such displays of attentiveness lightly. So why the fuck didn't I even hear him sneeze, for fuck's sake?
     I'll tell you why. Because for years and years, one of my friends berated me whenever I said bless you claiming that it's pointless and stupid so after always getting an earful after he sneezed, all the grumbling obviously took and made me numb to other people's sneezing. For someone who prides themselves on not changing much over the years, decades even, that realization was kind of a blow — has my personality decided that since apparently no good deed, not even a minute, seemingly irrelevant one as saying bless you, ever goes unpunished, it will simply stop being nice? What the fuck, personality?
     But just as I was about to wallow in despair and pop a bottle to bid my niceness adieu and at least enjoy my awesome liquor-holding talent if everything else good about me was just taken away, I remembered something, I remembered something unpleasant — and it brought a humongous smile on my face: my mind got flooded with all the times I got fucked over recently because even though I know that no good deed ever goes unpunished, I still can't deny my nature and I, against my better judgment, always end up helping good-for-nothing morons who in turn take advantage of my niceness. And I have a perfect example, fresh from the oven.
     About a year ago, a 'friend' of mine asked me to help him to some money and since I have a soft spot for poor, hopeless saps, I did something which I could potentially get in a legal predicament for (I didn't steal and sell any babies, fret not) and helped him out. Now, he basically owes me a favor (not the first or the only one, of course) and money. I couldn't care less about the favor(s), but I do care about the money and would very much like it back which I, over the course of the past few months, told him numerous times. Mostly I didn't even get a reply, but last week, when I last asked for my money, I got the brattiest, most pubescent answer telling me to 'go get a glass of water' (his clever version of 'take a chill pill') — and that came from a 'man' well in his thirties, mind you. As if that's not enough, the last time I saw him in person he didn't even once said sorry for making me wait, but he did tell me all about his recent fabulous trip to NYC bragging about what a great deal he got on the plane ticket. "It was only €300! Cheap, right??" he told me, while I thought to myself, why are you telling me this? That wasn't just tactless, it was plain stupid, because that just happens to be about the amount he owes me so technically I paid for his ticket — thanks for the postcard you sent me and all the souvenirs you got me, ASSHOLE.
     Having said that, now I almost regret my growth game isn't strong enough that I'd do a one-eighty and start saying FUCK YOU every time people come asking for favors — but just almost. Because in truth, I'm not naive, I only quite deliberately refuse to give the nice part of me away, even though it seems that being nice is a vice, not a virtue and no good deed truly ever goes unpunished. But be that a disadvantage or not, I'm not changing and stooping to their level, no fucking way, so I better quickly start saying bless you again, because I want people who know me based of who I was years ago to still recognize me today. I'm leaving the growth game to those who need it more — to assholes.

     Thanks for stopping by and looking and reading (obviously) my mishmash jumble of pot-pourri-like craziness, it means the world to me. Therefore, you're welcome to pop by again next week to see what's new on the blog — I post once a week every week, most likely somewhere between Wednesdays and Sundays. But beware, I'm not signing and sealing that in blood so your best bet is to follow FPS via email (or Bloglovin, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook or Google+) to never miss an update. Or simply come by again sometimes!